PUTTING THE “JESUS CHRIST!” BACK IN CHRISTMAS
December 8th, 2005 | by Jersey McJones |MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
From Jersey McJones
That’s right! I said it! Merry CHRISTMAS! Not “Happy Holidays,” not “Seasons Greetings,” no, it’s MERRY FRIGGIN’ CHRISTMAS, BABY!!!
I know many who say that us godless, commie, politically-correct, hyphenating liberals are waging a war on “Christ-in-Christmas,” but for all you poor little Christian victims of liberal oppression, for whom all your tax-exempt churches and your vast private properties are just not spacious enough for all your countless mangers, you proselytizers of primitive priory profundity, this one’s for you:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
For all you wealthy-born, war-profiteering, tax-cheating, class-warring, crooked/corporate politician-loving, Hummer-Driving, prepaid Yale-Mastering, unearned investment-leeching, natural resources-stealing, Mega-Church parishioners who have as much chance of entering Heaven as a camel through the eye of a needle:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
For all you boozed-up, working-poor, easily-baited, pro-life-as-long-as-it’s-in-the-womb-and-it’s-not-your-baby, selling the piles of guns you bought at gun shows to street gangsters who shoot cops with them and you tell the police “it was stolen but I forgot to report it:”
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
For all you Dixie Flag-waving “patriots” fighting to make burning the Stars ‘n Stripes illegal, Pro-Israel Christian Fundamentalists who want a new Temple so that Jesus will return - and all the Jews (and everyone else) will go to hell, multiple-divorcees complaining that gays are ruining marriage, Moral Majoritarians who make Desperate Housewives the most popular show in the Bible Belt:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
For all you Intelligent Design-propping, “when does life begin”-arguing, Holocaust/Racism-denying, token Uncle Tom-loving, namers of bills like the “Clear Skies Act,” proponents of cutting old-growth trees and calling it “forest fire prevention,” post-rationalizing, bait ‘n switch liars who just can’t come clean with what they really believe and why:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
For all you Minute Men, brave enough to face down poor immigrant laborers as they look for work – but not quite brave enough to deal with those who employ them, chicken hawk/draft dodgers who neither fight nor pay nor send family members nor call for a draft for any war they start, scapegoaters of the ACLU and Trial Attorneys and every other necessary profession to a healthy democracy because they are so easy to scapegoat:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
For all you who believe that aborting an embryo is akin to murder, but killing thousands of brown-skinned families is “collateral damage,” that shooting little furry animals with bows and arrows is humane naturalism, that execution by the government is trustworthy justice, that accumulation of enough WMD to destroy the world 50 times over is a necessary deterrent to foreign threats, that wiping out ever-mounting numbers of species of living things from the face of the Earth and polluting the environment is okay because the world is going to end any day now so it doesn’t matter anyway:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
For all you who invade a nation that had nothing to do with 9/11 so as to lure terrorists there to kill them, and in so doing, destroy one of the few secular, non-terrorist-producing states in the Middle East, leaving it ripe for civil war and terrorist-production, proving for once and for all that Radical Federalism and American Hegemony, Moral Theocracy, Universal Gun Ownership, and Privatization of vital public, and military, Utilities and Institutions, are a sure recipe for a failed state:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
And, finally… (drum-roll, please)
For all you who believe that it is more important to be “united” in a cause than to be right about it, to be the “winner” of the cause instead of understanding it, to have a “vision” of the cause rather than actually seeing it, to be “popular” in the cause better than thinking it through for yourself, to be EASY in the cause and not SACRIFICING for it…
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Enjoy your lump of coal.
19 Responses to “PUTTING THE “JESUS CHRIST!” BACK IN CHRISTMAS”
By Treason on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Klap, Klap, Klap, Klap. Thanx for the personal X-Mas greeting McJersey. How many shots of Bacardi did you have writing that?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year’s to you!
::Smile::
–gulp–
Damn that shot was good. 39 more to go to celebrate my 40th Birthday today. Did you know today is the Immaculate Conception. My mother always referred to me as the “Immaculate Exception”! Also, Jim Morrison of The Doors was born on December 8th and of course John Lennon was shot and killed on December 8th (didn’t wish the guy dead but hated his music and him in general).
M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S to everyone!
By The Bastard on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
::Standing Ovulation::
Bravo! Well said!
By LiberPaul on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Hear! Hear! Merry f%@king Christmas to you…
By pia on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Great post Jersey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell me again why we’re in Iraq? Oh right to fight their civl war, but we tell people it’s to fight terrorism.
This country is having enough of a civil war. We don’t need to be in another country’s
Happy birthday Treason Maybe now that you’ve hit 40, you’ll wise up
By Dr. Forbush on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Excellent! You sure had a fire burning in your belly to build the steam needed for that one. It was certainly worth it!
By Jet on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Oh,please. Tell us how you REALLY feel.
Great Rant!
By James on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Wow, that was LOADED with stereotypes
By Jimmy on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Ha! Great post Jersey!
And a Happy Birthday to Treason!
By Tom Harper on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Yeah!! Excellent rant!
Happy Birthday Treason. At least we’ve made it through December 8th without another rock star getting killed (knock wood). John Lennon 25 years ago, Pantera’s guitarist last year on this date…
By Larry Sadler on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
After passing the $56 billion tax package today on the back of the poor and costing our Treasury $20.6 billion through 2010. I guess Bush and his friends will have many years of Merry Christmas. Now where is Jesus in this picture and just what would he do?…..Get this Congress out of here?…..Get this Administration out of here?….. What?
By steve on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Hey! That Hummer driving comment wasn’t meant for me was it?
And speaking of birthdays, mine is on Christmas!!
By Jersey McJones on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
I do like like Jesus, though. Some dude who stuck up for the little guy. Like “Treason” and “Steve” who stick up for… uh… something ‘er other, “James” points out the stereotypes of my Merry Christmas. Well, guys, let me say this:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Chin-up guys.
By steve on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
OK… Now you’re a complete idiot. You have no idea who I am, what I do or where I work. So for you saying, “…who stick up for… uh… something” is complete bullshit and heartless. Fuck you and your misguided Christmas spirit!
By The Bastard on Dec 8, 2005 | Reply
Steve,
Chill. Or ummm, forget about it, you might kidnap me and beat me like they did that poor professor in Kansas.
Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!
And Happy Holidays to all the liberal scum around here
By LiberPaul on Dec 9, 2005 | Reply
Its a rant, it’s supposed to be filled with stereotypes….duh!
By mrs bastard on Dec 13, 2005 | Reply
Treason,
Please do us all a favor and don’t mention John Lennon and yourself ever again in the same sentence!
By Friend on Dec 24, 2005 | Reply
Jesus Is God! Merry Christmas! Happy Birthday Jesus! If you Haven’t received Jesus as your Lord and Savior,I will Pray with you.
In Christs Love,
Friend
By Friend on Dec 24, 2005 | Reply
Jesus Is God! Merry Christmas! Happy Birthday Jesus! If you Haven’t received Jesus as your Lord and Savior,I will Pray with you.
In Christs Love,
Friend