Another Fine Mess George Has Gotten Us Into
June 24th, 2006 | by Omnipotent Poobah |
There’s been a lot of bold talk by the dems about the need to set a deadline for troop withdrawal in Iraq. This idea has floated around the halls of Congress since the weak-bladdered pols went along with this ill-fated misadventure to begin with.
At the time, our Commandant-of-Ineptitude resisted the idea on the grounds that it would send a signal to the “terrists” that they only need hold out until the deadline and we’d leave the fetid stinkhole to them to fight over - sort of a walk and run instead of a cut and run. Lord Bush and the cabal argued that by publicizing a deadline, the attacks wouldn’t stop, they’d only get worse. I shudder to say this, but I actually think that was correct at the time. Of course, their follow-on statements about victory being in our grasp and the rest of the happy-talk claptrap was as nonsensical then as it is today.
Now the dems are reviving the idea with a new justification - we need to send a signal to the Iraqis to stand up and take care of their own country. While this may sound like a brave position that’s full of wisdom it’s - what’s the word? - er, stupid. It’s the stupid talk of stupid people who did something stupid and now want political cover so they can convince more stupid people to continue voting their stupid asses back in.
Does anyone actually think the Iraqis need to be told that? After all, they’re the ones who go to the local market dodging bullets, IEDs, and kidnappers at every corner. They’re the ones experiencing the wonderful results of Rummy’s great nation-building prowess. Heck, they’re up to almost six hours a day of electricity and they have semi-flushing toilets. They’re probably kicking back and relaxing now they’re on easy street. Why, I can see the flowers being assembled to be thrown at our feet in gratitude as I write this.
The Iraqis may be killers and religious zealots, but they aren’t stupid. They know they need to pull together, but it isn’t as easy as let’s all hug and be one big happy republic.
With ethnic and religious scores to settle, there are only a handful of Iraqis willing to play nice and make democracy. They haven’t gotten along for eons and there’s no reason to suspect they’ll get along now that Bushrod has given them the keys to a brand new, shiny democracy to test drive. The proof of this problem is in Saddam Hussein himself. He was a ruthless dictator who killed and tortured for fun and profit and he couldn’t keep the Kurds from slitting a few Sunni throats or Sunnis from kicking a little Shiite ass. What hope does Bush have? He can’t even pacify his own party.
First, we signal the terrorists, then we signal the Iraqis. That’s a whole lot of signaling. It reminds me of smoke signals from the Hikowi camp on F-Troop. Puff…puff…”Calamity Jane go on heap big date with Capt. Parmenter! Agarn, come quick.”
Signals aren’t going to work and here’s why. When the Great Decider decided to invade the place, and the dems decided to abandon their duty to try to stop the nitwit, we began painting the international floor. Since then, we’ve steadfastly refused to stop painting. In fact, we’ve been painting furiously ever since. It’s been a veritable orgy of painting. And now, we find ourselves painted into a corner surrounded by a perpetually wet-painted floor.
As Colin Powell pointed out at the beginning of this tale of woe, “If you break it, you bought it.” Well, we broke it, stomped on the pieces, set them afire, and finally pissed off all the firefighters so they wouldn’t come bail our sorry asses out. Common decency and the prestige of the nation would suggest that if we broke it, we should fix it. The problem is, how do we put Iraqi Dumpty back together again without breaking ourselves into pieces in the process?
We could leave, but a kill-fest will surely ensue and that famously unstable region will spin out of control. If we leave, the place will become the nest of terrorists that the Big Dick always falsely claimed it was. If we gradually withdraw, the result will be the same - only prolonged.
If we stay, Iraqis and Americans both will continue dying and you, your kids, and your grandkids will be paying to keep a leaky boat afloat on the Tigris River. Meanwhile, George will go back to a job he’s more qualified for - manual labor back on the ranch in Crawford.
There is no real debate about Iraq, because there are no real workable alternatives. No matter how much lipstick both parties put on it, Iraq is a pig. A big, grunting, shitting, aggressive boar that’s going to chew on our collective legs for a long time to come, no matter what we do or don’t do. We’re living in the middle of an awesomely scary movie that is equal parts Laurel and Hardy and every scary thought to haunt the mind of Stephen King. And, there’s only one thing to say…
George, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into.
Cross Posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!
[tag]humor, politics, iraq, bush, crapweasels, bring+it+on, omnipotent+poobah[/tag]
3 Responses to “Another Fine Mess George Has Gotten Us Into”
By Bukko in Australia on Jun 24, 2006 | Reply
What does a war look like when you’re losing it? Exactly like Iraq. American soldiers dying every day, bombs going off in the street, kidnappings and killings of the subject peoples, chaos rampant, no social order… Americans can’t walk the street without guns at the ready. It’s all over. The only question is how many humans will be slaughtered on both sides and how many billions of U.S. dollars will be wasted before Americans slink away. Then the Kurds will form a rump state in the north to destabilise Turkey; an anarchic equivalent to Afghanistan will roil the middle and Iran will dominate southern Iraq. From there the Shiites will threaten Saudi Arabia and perhaps overthrow the al-Saud regime and topple the West’s oil-based economy. It’s the end of the modern way of life, courtesy of the idiot President Cheney’s mad scheme.
By ken grandlund on Jun 24, 2006 | Reply
So yeah, it’s all F-ed up and there is no pretty way to end this. It’s ugly and going to stay ugly for a long time to come. So we should just shut up and do nothing?
I’m not going to dispute your analysis here, but something must change. And to not offer any suggestions is to silently agree to the present course.
It may seem hopeless, and it certainly will be if nobody offers options to at least consider.
By Omnipotent Poobah on Jun 24, 2006 | Reply
Bukko,
You would be right on all counts.
Ken,
No, I don’t think anyone should shut up, far from it. That’s what got us here to begin with. If more people had spoken up in the beginning, this might not have happened.
The point I was trying to make is that there’s still nothing going on but talking and as a result there are no truly viable options left on the table. No matter what happens now, there is going to be carnage and a bigger problem than we already have.
I don’t pretend to have an answer, because I don’t think there is really one. Personally, I think the best of all the crappy responses is to simply begin to pull away now. A timetable will do nothing except prolong the agony.
Do I think this is the right decision? NO - for the reasons I’ve outlined. If we do go that route, we’re going to have created a trainwreck of a country that will only get worse. The only saving grace of this action is that it will stop Americans from dying in the short term.
Problem is, they’ll have to go back later to die in larger numbers while Iraqis dying will go on whether we’re there or not. Either way, lots of innocent people are going to die for a collasal mistake caused by people with too much hubris and not enough common sense.
I think people should advocate as hard as they can for the resolution they think is the best one…whatever it may be. It’ll will be messy and divisive, but I hope a real debate will result in a solution that will be the least destrcutive. And if it doesn’t, perhaps it will teach the nation a lesson that will deter them from doing it again for awhile. The Viet Nam debate managed to do that for about 20 years, maybe a debate on this fiasco can too - but that isn’t going to happen if people don’t point out that it isn’t happening - and that was my point.