Let’s Rumble Virgil Goode
December 24th, 2006 | by Omnipotent Poobah |
I recently wrote a post about the ascendency of the wussy in American politics. Like most bullies, these quivering mounds of Jello talk tough about chasing down every Amal, Abdul, and Hussien they can find in an attempt to stop “terrer” and avenge the victims of 9/11. But these bullies do it while hiding behind the flag and working hard to immolate or abridge the rights of anyone on the planet who happens to disagree with them.
“Ya better run away you nasty terrist. If’n ya don’t, ah’ll vote the First Amendment rat outa thuh Constitution. That’ll larn ya, ya cutthroat Islamofascist,” they yell in high-pitched and tremolos voices. “I’ll send mah big brother to kick yer Muslim ass,” they scream from an undisclosed location.
These crapweasels would literally shit their pants if faced with an actual Muslim - terrorist or not. The mere sight of a Koran sends them tumbling over a cliff in a mad rush to find a Bible to take cover behind. Yet somehow they believe themselves to be the bravest of the brave. So brave, in fact, they display it by sending other people’s kids off to get killed in a war halfway around the world.
Damn! Now that’s brave! They sure don’t come any braver than that. Real Rocky Balboas these guys are. Texas National Guard members no doubt.
So, meet Virgil Goode, a courageous Virginia Congressman whose pants currently stink with a huge, sopping-wet load because Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison wants be sworn in to Congress on a Koran.
Virgil bravely whined that no Korans be allowed unless used in a “private” ceremony. And while hiding under a pickle barrel, he defended his God-fearing constituents with a cowardly rant about how we need stronger immigration policies to protect us from them damn “Mooslem feriners”?
But Virgil? Funny thing. Ellison is a US citizen - and not one of those naturalized ones you fear so much either. Nope, Ellison was born and bred in Detroit, Michigan. In fact, he was raised Roman Catholic and attended a Jesuit high school as a kid. Oh, and his brother is a Baptist preacher. That’s sounds pretty subversive to me. You simply can’t trust those seditious Catholics and Baptists, especially if they left the bosom of Christ for the arms of Allah.
Ellison sponsored some pretty subversive legislation while serving in the Minnesota House too. Why, he supported involuntary commitment for sex offenders, pushed for DNA testing for criminals, and worked on legislation to keep kids in school. Yup, that’s one scary dude you’re up against there Virge. I can see how he could strike terror into your heart.
Now, I’m no Lou Dobbs on the matter, but I support a stronger immigration policy too, although I’m having a bit of a problem seeing why that has anything to do with a native-born American scaring the bejeebers out of a cracker from the sticks. I support it because I believe we are absorbing immigrants, especially illegal ones, at a rate faster than our infrastructure can cope. I also believe that despite what some would have you believe, some of the jobs being taken could and would be filled with Americans. Simply stated, I want an immigration policy that serves America’s needs first and I’m unapologetic about it.
However, I’m not all about cutting off immigration because I’m afraid a wandering band of Muslims will cut my hands off unless I celebrate Ramadan. I’m not about insisting all immigrants assimilate perfectly into an English-speaking culture because I’m afraid I’ll have to order my hamburgesa en espanol. And I couldn’t care less whether immigrants believe in a Bible, Koran, Torah, or a bag of celery (although I personally favor celery worship because at least you have something healthy to eat after services). I believe that way because that is the way the America I know deals with things. That is the way that a brave America behaves.
But most of all, I’m not afraid of ol’ Virge and his congregation of crapweasels. As far as I’m concerned, they are cowards of the first degree - people who are so afraid of their own shadows they are willing to pull their well-worn asshats down to their ankles in an attempt to hide from a man who wants to put his hand on a book of his own choosing and swear allegiance to the Constitution.
I have but one message for Virgil and all the other lemmings who follow his cowardly rants:
I’d be perfectly happy to come kick your cowardly asses myself. Anytime. Anywhere. No big brothers. No flag to hide behind. No black book for protection. No invisible spirit in the sky. I’ll do it as a proud American citizen who is tired of people like you giving my country a bad name.
Whatta ya say there Virge? Mano a mano? Let’s rumble.
Cross Posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!
[tag]politics, humor, virgil+goode, keith+ellison, immigration, religion, koran, wussy, cowardly+asshat, crapweasels, omnipotent+poobah, bring+it+on[/tag]
8 Responses to “Let’s Rumble Virgil Goode”
By Dusty on Dec 24, 2006 | Reply
Keith Ellison is a good man. Virgil..not so much. Flag-waving fuckwits always piss me off.
By Jersey McJones on Dec 24, 2006 | Reply
Great post! I would add one thing though - perhaps now is not a good time to import young muslims from Egypt and Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, etc. That said, Virgil is still a fuckin idiot, and his commitment to know-nothing nativism sounds like shit to me. Here’s a smart immigration bill that this snivelling little hillbilly voted against. Here’s another. Looks like this partisan fuck couldn’t give a rats ass about immigration unless it involves a stupid fence.
JMJ
By sumo on Dec 25, 2006 | Reply
I own a Koran. I wanted to find out and read about their teachings to better understand the religion and the people. No big woop there. I also own Mao’s Little Red Book. I don’t know why people don’t avail themselves of more knowledge and understanding before they engage their rage and spew studpidity. Sadly, again…this is something the Bush Dynasty has promoted in the people by setting the same example. Intelligence is a terrible thing to waste…good message Georgie. Oh…and Poobie…right on!
By tammara on Dec 25, 2006 | Reply
i also own and have read the bible, the koran, the red book, the satanic bible, the art of war, the art of happiness, be here now, the bhagavad-gita, and more books on wicca than i can count.
when i packed to put things in storage when i went to texas to be with sean before he deployed, i packed 75 crates of book that belonged to me, another 60 that belonged to him. of the 75 that belong to me, 23 of them were books on spirituality, religion or philosophy. 30 were books on political science, history or pyschology.
point being… if you want to make comment on things, figure out what the history is, study the philosophy and religion, and think. it’s not all what “they” tell you it is, and if you don’t take the time to find out for yourself, you are at “their” mercy.
poob- love the picture. it looks just like king george.
By pjgoober on Dec 27, 2006 | Reply
“Ya better run away you nasty terrist. If’n ya don’t, ah’ll vote the First Amendment rat outa thuh Constitution. That’ll larn ya, ya cutthroat Islamofascist,”
Straw man:
Virgil explicitly states that he would not bar Ellison from using the koran:
Rush Limbaugh Show
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/daily/site_122206/content/stop_the_tape_2.guest.html
“RUSH: Final question from David Asman. “Would you prohibit, Mr. Ellison — would you prohibit him from bringing a Koran into that ceremony?”
GOODE: If the voters of that district want persons that are going to swear by the Koran, that’s the choice of the voters of that district, but I believe that the overwhelming majority of voters in my district would prefer the use of the Bible if a book is used, and that is exactly what I’m going to do.
ASMAN: Well, that I may well be true, but again just to put a fine point on it: You are not, then, for prohibiting Mr. Ellison from bringing in a Koran?
GOODE: No, but I am for restricting immigration so that we don’t have a majority of Muslims elected to the United States House of Representatives. ”
A cost-benefit analysis, with lives being weighted the most, is the best way to approach Virgil Goode’s sole policy proposal, which is a halt to muslim immigration.
Whatever the outcome of a cost benefit analysis, it will only be valid if it is actually acknowledged that muslim immigration, student studying, and tourist visits has a cost in treasure and lives, which September 11th, the Los Angeles El Al ticket counter shooting, the first WTC bombing, the London bombing, the Madrid train bombing, and numerous averted terrorist attacks show. Nearly every ledger has two sides to be acknowledged, and this is no exception. The outcome doesn’t have to be all or nothing either. I believe that the optimal policy is reduced muslim immigration from the current ~40,000 per year to something like ~10,000 per year. We’d keep most of our international prestige and the psychic gain which a non-discriminatory immigration policy gives us, and US muslims wouldn’t feel *quite* so hated as a complete ban would make them feel, but we’d have a far slower rate of growth in the sea in which terrorists swim and recruit. If we made sure that the reduced flow was more proportionately the cream of the crop than the current flow is, then we’d have less economic losses (they are highly educated) than pure reduced numbers of muslim immigrants alone would indicate.
By Omnipotent Poobah on Dec 27, 2006 | Reply
PJ,
I’m not sure how that qualifies as a strawman. Goode said HE was opposed to using the Koran (which is what I said). My point is that he is running scared from a problem that is relatively minor from the “cost benefit analysis” perspective he espouses. You don’t shave 30,000 spots off immigration for a specific religious group because a handful managed to get in and blow something up.
Where they come from is beside the point. We’ve had immigrants from almost every country on Earth enter this country and commit crimes and muslims are no exception. In addition, we’ve had more than our share of US citizens who were terrorists and he’s not advocating locking everyone in this country up. He’s also not advocating cutting off 3/4 of Catholic immigration because some Mexican immigrants have murdered people either.
Finally, as I pointed out, what swearing in a legally elected US citizen to congress has to do with immigration reform is beyond me. Goode used the occasion as nothing more than a way to make himself feel tough while avoiding his fear…muslims. From my perspective it looks like you and the good Congressman have some straw sticking to you. You might want to look in the mirror.
By Paul Watson on Dec 28, 2006 | Reply
PJ,
Just a minor point, sorry to let an actual fact get in the way, but both the Madrid and London bombings were committed by natives to the countries in question. You could have reduced immigration to 0 and they would still have happened. As I said, sorry to let actual facts get in the way of a mindless rant.
By pjgoober on Dec 23, 2007 | Reply
Paul Watson, Fuck you. Who gave birth to the fucking london and madrid bombers, you dumbfuck? IMMIGRANT FUCKING MUSLIMS!