Free Paris
May 4th, 2007 | by steve |
David Hasselhoff Drunk - Brought to you by Break.com Video Search
Video footage of a drunk Paris Hilton
Guys,
I am sooooooo like bummed right now. My darling Paris is going to jail! 45 days! Oh… my… GOD!!! (Jersey, you know you would “do” her)
Right now, what will are we gonna do. Starting on June 5th, we’ll have live team coverage on CNN… FOX… MSNBC… and MTV of Paris Hilton’s troubles.
That means that Bush’s rating might actually go up! Some people are gonna think the war actually ended because the coverage dedicated by Anderson Cooper outside the LA County Jail. I can see the headlines on Wolf Blitzer’s show… Paris, Paris… Paris?
The Simple Life will have a new title: 45 to life. Featuring a real black girl named La Wanda as her new best friend. So long Nicole Ritchie! The hijinks of a rich white girl in a prison yard are sure going to get her good ratings. Especially if she increases the flow of coke into the prison. Careful there Paris… We don’t want you to spread catch any diseases now.
This is totally laughable. Seriously! When does a celebrity this popular and wealthy ever get jail time?
Especially one that is white and hot!
12 Responses to “Free Paris”
By Lazy Iguana on May 5, 2007 | Reply
Uhhhh…if this video is of Paris I am drunk.
By Craig R. Harmon on May 5, 2007 | Reply
Bush should pardon her.
By Steve O on May 5, 2007 | Reply
Kittens all over the world are rejoicing right now.
By Jersey McJones on May 5, 2007 | Reply
I’m a happily maried man, Steve.
JMJ
By steve on May 5, 2007 | Reply
Doesn’t mean shit! You’d still do her.
I just can’t believe I got a video of her eating off the floor.
By Jimmy on May 5, 2007 | Reply
That video of the Hoff is just sad.
By Lazy Iguana on May 5, 2007 | Reply
They said “no alcohol” but nothing about pot!
I detect a loophole of some sort here.
I think that it will be good for Paris to spend a few days in jail. Then the bitch will learn that she can hire someone to do her driving for her - and not need a drivers license at all. And she will also learn that rules ARE for everyone. Not just us poor people who were not born with millions of dollars in a trust fund. She has not done one single thing worthwhile in her life. Even that sex tape sucked - or at least she did.
Now if we can just get one rich frat boy who thinks he is a cowboy to realize that the rules apply to him too……
By steve on May 5, 2007 | Reply
Iguana you just reminded me of something…
Like 3 years ago, I beat up a frat boy at a Social Distortion concert because he was “breaking the rules of concert etiquette.” He was as drunk as The Hoff here which in and of itself wasn’t bad it was just that he was pushing women to the floor and being an asshole. He was like 6′ 4″ maybe 230. I am 5′ 10″ 180. I think when I was done he needed a new kidney or something. I was near the front row in the middle of the mosh pit, I jumped him from behind and messed his shit up.
But the point being, these kids need rules. Though growing up and to this day I defy authority, I just can’t believe Paris’s mom is bent out of shape because her kid is going to jail like a “commoner”. I don’t know if you have seen the report on that but Greta Van Susteren had a guest last night that basically said she’s only getting 45 days for driving on a suspended license for speeding and reckless driving while intoxicated. A Bentley is what? 4000-5000lbs? I wouldn’t want my kid outside on the same street if Paris lived there. Talking on a cellphone, with reckless disregard. What a bitch!!
The Hoff story is so sad! I actually pull for that guy. He’s good people. But you’d have to be really drunk to talk to a car.
By Lazy Iguana on May 6, 2007 | Reply
I saw a report somewhere that the Hoff Man wrote some pretty sad stuff. About him being “lonely” and depressed and stuff. How could a star with millions of bucks be “lonely”? Well, he just was. And he turned to alcohol and that made it worse.
Lesson learned - alcoholism is a disease, and CAN effect anyone. Rich or poor.
I do not think Paris is an alcoholic. She is just a drunk bar fly. A party chick. To her, life is all about just having fun and doing what you want - then counting on money to bail you out of trouble. Totally different thing here. She probably thinks she did nothing at all wrong!
Good job beating up the frat boy. He was probably fresh from a gay ritual where some other guy spanked his naked ass while someone else had ass sex with a goat. Sounds like he deserved a good old fashioned ass beating - and not the kind that he enjoys.
Rules and the opposable thumb separate us from lower animals. I hope Paris does get to spend a few weeks in jail, without her $70,000 cell phone. I hope the courts took away her passport.
By Jersey McJones on May 6, 2007 | Reply
Steve, aren’t you a little old for that sorta thing?
JMJ
By steve on May 6, 2007 | Reply
Nope…
By Jimmy on May 6, 2007 | Reply
Now we will get to hear about Paris on the news for the forseeable future.
Hooray for America!