Jerry Meets St. Peter
May 15th, 2007 | by Omnipotent Poobah |Jerry Falwell is dead.
Since 1979, he made his living as the mouthpiece for the Moral Majority - a group which, in my opinion, is neither. From his bully pulpit, he preached the evils of a secular society. Although he resembled your cuddly old uncle, his attacks on those who didn’t share his beliefs were legion. To Jerry, the list of dangers to his world was long and varied and he never tired of condemning them.
“I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America,” Falwell said after 9/11. “I point the finger in their face and say you helped this happen.”
For the record, I fall into the pagan category and I sympathize with several other enemies of Jerry. But, as far as I can tell, none of us had anything to do with helping 9/11 happen, his holy middle finger notwithstanding.
To Jerry, no enemy was too small. Teletubbies were plush toys del diablo, hell-bent on homosexualizing kids. AIDS victims were experiencing, “the wrath of a just God against homosexuals.” Believing in Darwinism put you in the express line to hell and the UN was creating a global, “cashless society” that was a harbinger of the rapture.
Who knew God didn’t want Visa to be everywhere he wanted to be?
Even though I’m atheist, I’ve always believed that if there is a God, He would be the just, benevolent, and tolerant spirit I learned about on my Mother’s knee. I grew up listening to Falwell dominate Sunday morning with his Old Time Gospel Hour. I’ve heard him deliver hundreds of sermons and screeds - nearly all of them filled with some level of hate against his fellow men. And, I’ve always wondered what judgment St. Peter would deliver when old Jerry came a-knockin’ on the pearly gates.
My guess is the Big Guy might want to talk to him dio a mano about what a complete ass he’s been during his time on Earth. I’d imagine that God might be a little curious as to how Jerry could pervert His message so completely and then have the audacity to shield himself with God’s book and wrap himself in God’s cloak of righteousness. Since I’m an atheist who doesn’t believe in heaven and hell, I have no dog in this hunt, but I still wonder about where Jerry will end up.
I think I know the answer.
Cross Posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!
[tag]religion, jerry+falwell, omnipotent+poobah, bring+it+on[/tag]
7 Responses to “Jerry Meets St. Peter”
By Tom Baker on May 15, 2007 | Reply
I hope he packed a speedo. It’s hot down there.
Oh..Falwell in a speedo. Damn my eyes burn.
By tammara on May 15, 2007 | Reply
don’t worry, he won’t be wearing it long. they melt.
By Omnipotent Poobah on May 15, 2007 | Reply
Tom,
Be careful. Somebody’s burning eyes are what touched off the fire to begin with
By Steve O on May 15, 2007 | Reply
If given the chance I will piss on his grave!!! Maybe even take a shit.
Its OK to preach hatred covered under the banner of religion but when you wear that banner as a sheet on a horse and string people up, its wrong.
Doesnt anyone see that the KKK retreated to the pulpit because it is the only place safe today to preach hatred?
This man was pure fucking evil and it will be interesting to see what our preznit says and how the press will play it out.
What a fucking scumbag, I for one am glad he is fucking dead. The forefather of the American Taliban is dead, everyone should be rejoicing and setting their sights on the mother fucker that will be filling this fat bastards shoes.
By Lazy Iguana on May 16, 2007 | Reply
I wonder how God feels about Falwell using his word as a “product” and selling it to make a huge profit.
Falwell built a vast fortune preaching the word of God. And what did he give back? How rich did Jesus get preaching?
I question if Falwell really believed in God in the first place. It seems to me he did not. He used God to get rich.
And now, if there is a God, he is answering for it. Lets hope there is a God after all.
By manapp99 on May 16, 2007 | Reply
Steve O asks:
“Doesnt anyone see that the KKK retreated to the pulpit because it is the only place safe today to preach hatred?”
No the KKK retreated to the Senate. His name is Byrd. Dems like to forget this fact when they piss on the grave of the dead.
By Steve O on May 16, 2007 | Reply
Oh for fuck sake Manapp, get over it, the likes of Dobson, Robertson and Falwell are all KKK like attitudes wrapped in the shroud of Tora.
Racism and bigotry is not OK no matter what side of the aisle your hatred falls on.