Bring It On!

Friday FAQs

May 25th, 2007 | by Jersey McJones |

Q: Isn’t it better to “fight them over there” than fight them over here?

A: Not for thousands of dead soldiers, a million dead Iraqis, 2 1/2 trillion dollars, the animosity of the world, and endless years of war. It would be a lot easier if they just came here!
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Q: Why do the “Liberal Democrats” want to take away my guns?

A: They don’t. Actually, they want you to keep your guns, as opposed to illegally selling them to murderers. Oh, and there’s only a handful of “Liberal” Democrats anyway, so I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.
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Q: The Patriot Act, “warrantless wiretapping,” and GITMO shouldn’t worry you if you have nothing to hide, so what are you afraid of?

A: You.
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Q: If Global Warming is real, then why is it snowing right now?

A: It isn’t real snow. It’s actually fake snow dropped from B-1 Bombers over midwestern swing-states by order of Karl Rove.
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Q: The economy is “growing,” so why do all those “negative nabobs” complain about it?

A: Because they happen not to be vested in the Defense Sector, Big Pharma, Insurance, or any other sector that steals your tax dollars and calls it profit.
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Q: Why can’t the public schools teach creation in science class?

A: Because then we’d have to teach Exodus in history class, Leviticus in civics class, and Numbers in math class!
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Q: Why do gay people have to flaunt their sexuality in public?

A: How else would they, or you, be able to tell who’s gay or not?
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Q: Who are you to tell me where I can smoke?

A: Who are you to tell me what I can smoke?
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Q: Why is it that liberals say that abortion on demand is okay but the death penalty is not?

A: Because liberals don’t trust the government to make decisions of life and death, while conservatives trust the government to do just that, but nothing else.
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Q: If George W Bush is such a moron, why is he a two term president?

A: Because you’re moron too.
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JMJ