Bring It On!

The Great Pencil Sharpener War

December 15th, 2007 | by Omnipotent Poobah |

Female Pencil Sharpener A few days back, the inestimable Blue Gal did a great post about sexism, harassment, and what constitutes those things. It referenced a series of posts (more here, here, here, and here) about whether a pencil sharpener with the body of a woman doing it doggie style with a pencil was simply a pencil-sharp ener or a full-fledged attack against women.

I’ve never seen one of these posting threads that didn’t quickly disintegrate into commenters taking sides, heading to the fox holes, and preparing for pop-culture Armageddon. This thread is no exception. These posts generally play out after no one has changed sides and everyone is exhausted, or simply stunned, by the effort spent on something a stupid as a pencil sharpener with a yellow No. 3 stuck up it’s butt.

I’m Anti-Social
I’m not a feminist, nor am I a men’s rights (masculinist ?) advocate. I’m not anti-racist, pro-bigotry, anti-religio n, pro gay-rights, or anti-wiccan - hell, I’m even OK with most Republicans. I’m not a joiner of exclusivist groups because, quite frankly, I’m anti-social and don’t play well with others. Instead, I’m a “peopleist” who believes life is a dark ride and everyone gets the shaft in some way. I’m dedicated to understandin g problems rather than crashing a server farm with posts about pencil sharpeners (although I seem to be doing just that right now).

Male Pencil Sharpener Most exclusivists do exactly what their name implies - they exclude those not of a similar mind. This is true whether they’re Christian fundamentali sts who believe all Muslims are the devil’s spawn or feminists who see menace in anything a man does, from pissing upright to going to work.

The other strong trait exclusivists often exhibit is hypocrisy. They’re all for extinguishin g a point of view as long as it isn’t their point of view. A feminist point of view is inherently no better than a men’s rights point of view, it’s only different. Yet both groups would dance in the street if the other’s point of view somehow disappeared from the planet. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t believe that’s ever happened in the history/hers tory of mankind/woma nkind. In fact, many hot topics from pre-history are still raging unabated and I’m guessing that’s not going to stop.

And in the Center Ring…!
I believe that everyone has the right to say pretty much whatever they want - unless it might directly result in some bodily harm - regardless of how stupid, offensive, or disgusting I might find it. I’d rather have extremists in the spotlight where they can perform a Cirque du Asshat that loses them support instead of pulling in fellow lunkheads who already belong anyway.

Cat Pencil Sharpener Some think the name of this blog should be The Omnipotent Lunkhead Speaks. Many have told me as much in considerably less cordial words. However, no one is allowed to shut me down for my opinions - not even George, at least not yet anyway. My readers are free to agree or disagree as they choose. They are free to invite their contra-belie ving friends over to chew on my virtual ass. They can write contrary opinions on their own blogs and chances are I’d link to them myself. I also reserve the right to disagree. I do this because I believe excluding a point of view is wasteful and pointless. I quite often learn something from counter-opin ions - even asshats are right sometimes. But most of all, I do this because I don’t want anyone dictating what I should say or believe. The moment an exclusivist does that, is the moment when censorship wins. Censorship is one of the most egalitarian things we have. It shuts down one point of view in favor of another and is equally likely to happen to either side of an argument.