Iraq is a Quandry in More Ways Than One
April 4th, 2008 | by Omnipotent Poobah |At dinner last night, one of my dining companions said he was in a quandary. The quandary? What advice he should give a young man he once coached in baseball and who wanted to join the Army.
It’s not an uncommon quandary these days. Parents, friends, and families struggle with the desires of young men and women projected against the backdrop of a grossly unpopular war they detest and disagree with. What do you tell an 18-year old with little experience making important decisions, especially when the decision could lead to or injury?
I’m a veteran, but I should point out that I had an atypical military experience 30 years ago. .When I joined the Air Force, I’d already been on my own for five years. I also had several years of college under my belt and most importantly, the US wasn’t engaged in a shooting war at the time. I was among the first recruits in the all-volunteer military. For four years, I spent most of my time flying humanitarian missions and practicing for a war with the Soviet Union that never came. I traveled to every continent except Antarctica - 25 countries in all. I was as close as I could come to being my own boss. It was a lucky existence that resembled the image recruiting advertisements were touting at the time. But, I also parent an 18-year old daughter, so I can easily imagine facing such a tough choice.
Independence is a Good Thing
My wife and I raised our daughter to be independent and make her own decisions. She often asks for advice, but we rarely impose our will if she chooses to differ from it. In this case, my wife and I disagree on how we’d handle this question. She’s as adamantly opposed to our daughter enlisting as I am in favor of letting her make her own decision based on a careful research.
I have no bias against the military nor the fact your ultimate purpose is to fight wars. Whether you only practice as I did or find yourself parked on some desert sandlot with the bullets flying, it’s important to make sure you know what you’re getting into.
The military is a perfectly honorable - although low paying - way to make a living. In exchange for 4-plus years of service you can receive some of the best training in the world and travel and learn about other countries and the impact the US has on even the most far-flung of them. The military also provides a sense of discipline that will serve you well the rest of your life and affords an opportunity to decide what you want to do with yourself - even if it only teaches you the military isn’t the place for you. It can be a fast-track to a world perspective many civilians rarely gain or a 4-year exercise in frustration and confusion. Either way, you can’t just quit like you could during that summer job flipping burgers.
But like any career decision, the military carries risk. You need to understand recruiters are simply uniformed salesmen. Most of them are honest, but trained to emphasize the positive while minimizing the negative. They’re not unlike particularly tenacious used car salesmen. You need to do your homework and be prepared.
Asking the Right Questions
Ask about the new GI bill and make sure your modest pay will allow you to make your required contributions. Without them, there won’t be any money for school. Find out if your job allows you to take advantage of free on-duty college courses. If you find yourself on the road most of the time, as I did, you may not be able to take them. Understand the free room, board, and uniform allowances may not cover all your costs. Most importantly, make your decisions about what sort of job you want. Scrutinize the list of jobs you’re qualified for (there is testing and most people don’t have unlimited choices) and decide which is the right one for you, not the right one for the military’s needs. Being an infantrymen may sound like living an exciting video game, but the reality of mud, blood, and your buddy’s brains all over you shoulder is quite different. There’s an old military saying, “You never hear the bullet that kills you”. However, eeven with all the danger you may encounter, there’s a high probability your job will keep you relatively safe in a rear area or even in the US, but always understand that when the shooting starts everyone becomes a soldier.
At the end of the conversation, I still wasn’t sure what advice to give his young protegee. My impulse was to make sure the kid knows everything he should know - pro and con - about the biggest decision he’s ever likely to make, but then let the kid decide. On the other hand, he might die in a bogus war that has nothing to do with defending his country. It’s a war designed by a parttime “Champaign Flight” warrior and a draft dodger who became chickenhawks only after any real threat to them was gone. I’m divided, just like my friend and the rest of the country. It’s hard to draw any strength from watching a bunch of loons demonstrate anything but the honor and service the military is supposed to be about. I suppose I’d tell him the military requires you to follow orders, no matter if they are stupid and dangerous. Just remember, the Commander-in-Chief is the one who gets to decide if you live or die and that requires an incredible leap of faith when the time comes to go to war. You have to decide if he’s worthy of that trust as part of any decision you make. It’s a tough, tough decision for anyone to make, regardless of their age or experience.
I must admit that I’m 53 years old and not convinced I’d be able to make it, despite my own life experiences.
Cross-posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!
2 Responses to “Iraq is a Quandry in More Ways Than One”
By Chris Radulich on Apr 4, 2008 | Reply
There is still much to be gained by going in the military or even just away from home in a structured environment. The best you can do is relate your experiences, your beliefs in the present war and what you belief the consequnces of his decision would be. After that he is on his own.
By Liberal Jarhead on Apr 4, 2008 | Reply
I learned the hard way with my own kids that we cannot, and should not try to, steer the lives of young people the same way we did when they were children.
My stepfather was wiser in that respect. When I gave up a scholarship and dropped out of college in my first semester to enlist in the Marines, he didn’t try to stop me, although he voiced his concerns and, years later, told me he had thought it was a disastrous idea. He merely insisted (because I was still 17 and needed my parents’ signatures) that I explain exactly what my reasoning was, and that I make sure I got the promises the recruiters made in writing; and he reasoned my mom out of her initial impulse to try to make me do what she thought I should, instead of what I intended.
He had served in the Navy in World War II in both oceans and lost a lot of friends, and he had seen how the Marine Corps are used as shock troops. But he had too much respect for the right of my brothers and myself to choose our own paths.
I am glad that my own children, now in their 20s, have had no interest in the military, but if they did consider joining up, I would share my experience and offer my advice but not try to tell them what to do.