Undercover: Into the Bowels of the Evangelical Movement
April 28th, 2008 | by Tom Harper |No matter what you’ve already read and heard about deranged herds of bookburning tongue-speaking “Christian” wackjobs, there’s always something even worse that’ll have you going “WTF??? Oh. My. God!”
Matt Taibbi went underground and infiltrated a 3-day workshop put on by John Hagee’s Cornerstone Church. Aside from being one of John McCain’s friendliest bedfellows, John Hagee is the leader of Christian Zionism. This is the belief that America and Israel should unite for the purpose of speeding up the arrival of Armageddon.
As True Believers all know, Jesus will be reappearing, but not until after Israel is involved in a final bloody showdown with the forces of Satan. And then — ooooohhhh I’m so excited! — the RAPTURE! Come on, let’s get this party started!
When you think of “Christian” demagogues, you probably think of those wacky televised presentations. As Matt Taibbi describes it: “Perfectly groomed people in pale suits and light-colored dresses, smiling and happy and full of the Holy Spirit, robotically singing hymns at the behest of some squeaky-clean pastor with a baritone voice and impossible hair.”
But: “We don’t get to see the utterly batshit world they live in, when the cameras are turned off…in other words, there’s a ready-for-prime-time stage act — toned down and lip-synced to match a set of PG lyrics that won’t scare the advertisers — and then there’s the real party backstage, where the spiritual hair really gets let down.” And does it ever!
This is a long article but it’s an excellent read. It has all the suspense of a cop show when somebody goes undercover and infiltrates a vicious gang. Obviously the author came out unharmed since his article was published. But all through the article there’s this nagging tension, this sensation of “oh my God, what if he gets recognized? What if somebody figures out he isn’t one of Them?”
During the final day of the “Encounter Weekend” (as they called it), there was a fire-and-brimstone ceremony for exorcising demons. The workshop leader (his name was Philip Fortenberry) repeatedly yelled out “In the name of Jesus I cast out the demon of _______.” These are the demons that were cast out (in order): Incest. Sexual abuse. Astrology. Lust. Cancer. Handwriting analysis. Intellect. Anal fissures. Philosophy. Pornography. Disconnect.
And the Encounter Weekend wouldn’t be complete without the obligatory Harry Potter anecdote. Philip Fortenberry (again) mesmerized the audience. His nephew had called him up one night, frantic. His two young sons had collapsed on the floor and they were writhing and gasping for air.
“And I said to my nephew, I said, ‘It isn’t something they’ve done. It’s something you’ve done.’ I told my nephew to look around the house. I said, ‘Do you have a copy of Harry Potter?’ And he said yes. And I said, ‘That’s your problem.’ So I told him to go get that copy of that book, tear it in half and throw it out the window. So he does it, and guess what? Both of those kids stood up completely recovered, just like that.” Praise the Lord.
Damn You Harry Potter!
Enjoy this article. You’ll laugh. You’ll cringe. You’ll clench your fist and yell out a few cusswords you haven’t even thought of since high school. And you’ll probably need a massive hit of your favorite drug.
This is a necessary glimpse into America’s seamy underside. It isn’t pretty, but we need to recognize and acknowledge it. And if you’ve ever wondered how rightwing “Christian” demagogues could have so much power — remember, there are millions of Americans who are exactly like the people portrayed in this story.
29 Responses to “Undercover: Into the Bowels of the Evangelical Movement”
By Lisa on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
How can Hagee be one of McCain’s bedfellows when they are against homosexuality?
As weird as this is and I don’t deny there are weird people that take religion to a ridiculous level,I am having a hard time picturing McCain sitting there puking the devil out of himself and and fake fainting. I hope the MSM will defend him as well if this story hits big. I mean it’s only fair in his defense that he is not a member of that church and has never sat through those wierd practices.
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Read this all the way through. My reactions?
How will our democracy survive? We’ve got to repeal the free exercise clause of the first amendment immediately!
Then we’ve got to amend the Constitution with a clause that takes the vote from anyone who’s ever attended one of these sessions or anything remotely like it.
Then we’ve got to amend the Constitution, repealing the “no religious test” clause, to the effect that no one who is a Christian can ever become President. The mere thought that anyone who’s ever gone through anything remotely like this might get in the Oval Office with his finger on the firing switch for our nuclear arsenal is just too fearful to contemplate.
The author lied throughout the weekend. What makes me think he’s not lying to us throughout the article? I mean, really: did he record the sessions, take along a stenographer’s pad and shorthand it or has he just got a photographic memory for dialog? Or did he make the dialog up as he went along, sort of like those historical novels that follow the general outlines of historical events but the dialogs are all just the author’s imagination, made up to achieve the author’s literary effect?
With this thought, perhaps we ought to hold off on amending the Constitution.
Honestly people, of what relevance is this to anything, even if it is honest to God, 100%, error-free, objective, Gospel truth? Don’t like such shindigs, don’t go. Stay there watching tv and periodically getting thwacked by your clown shoe wielding father and having your normal damaged beyond repair. Seems like a lot to go through simply to make fun of a culture just to get some yucks.
I will give you this: if John McCain had chosen to join this Church, attend and financially support the Church for some 20 years to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars, written a book that was inspired by one of these encounter weekends, made Hagee his long-time personal and official spiritual campaign adviser, I’d have to seriously stay home come election day.
As it is, I’m kind of wondering why I or anyone else should give a crap.
By steve on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Okay… let us create a world and put all the non-believing atheist liberals in power… Then what?
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
But isn’t a Democratic Mayor calling for the entire town to don sackcloth, literally, and repent as they did in Job’s Nineveh almost as bat-shit crazy? A Democrat calling for prayer and handing out Bibles as a response to rising crime and violence? What happened to the wall of separation? What happened to the establishment clause of the US Constitution? This has got to be stopped!
Oh! My! God!!!! This guy could one day run for President!
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
And although the article plays “Guess the Party Affiliation of the Religious Wack-A-Do”, Mayor Larry Langford IS a Democrat.
By rube cretin on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
“this is not the end of the world but I can see it from here.” Melencamp
By Gorbe on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Funny how black politicians are asked to apologize for the words of their black preachers; but nobody expects white politicians to apologize for the words of their white preachers.
Falwell, Robertson, et. al. had/have been saying outrageous things for decades, including blaming American homosexuals, abortionists, etc. for 9/11. And yet people like McCain, Bush, cozy up to these MFers and not one peep.
It’s racism, pure and simple.
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Nevermind the Evangelical Movement, let’s go further into the Bowels of Black Liberation Theology!
Apparently Rev. Wright has been speaking out quite a lot lately. How much, do you suppose, does Barack Obama wish that Rev. Wright would just shut the fuck up rather than speaking into every microphone placed before him? Or that he’d never met the Rev. Wright, for that matter? Man, if I’ve ever seen a presidential candidacy in self-destruct mode, it’s the Obama candidacy and it’s Wright now (pun intended).
Does anyone believe that delving into the bowels of Black Liberation Theology by hearing entire Wright sermons, full of the evils of white America and white Americans, is any more advantageous to Barack’s presidential aspirations than is short clips of “God Damn America!” played over and over again?
Man…what a beautiful time to be a Republican!
The Democrats are now faced with going with the guy who has the most pledged delagates but who is being damaged by the day by his 20 year relationship with a deranged, America hating preacher and by his own sociological theories about why working class whites cling to religion and guns and are, well, face it, just purely bigoted zenophobes…
or…
Overriding that to nominate Hillary Clinton, thus perhaps irrevocably alienating nearly every black in America (Barack pulls like 90% or more of the black vote) and rich, elite, white lefties, thus doing great damage to the traditional Democratic coalition of support and perhaps handing the election to John McCain.
All because Obama thought it was to his political advantage to cling to a god who hates whites and white America.
What could Barack have possibly been thinking all those 20 years? “Please don’t let whites in America notice what is preached here or that this is where I choose to worship…please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeease don’t let anyone notice!” probably.
By rube cretin on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
I just noticed. Watched the Rev’s speech before the Press Club this morning and found his comments truthful, eloquent, educational,and refreshing. Suggest others give it a watch. This man is not going to run thinking Americans away from Obama. yes, the bigots will find fault, but they don’t generally practice critical thinking and weren’t going to vote for him anyway. No they are going to continue voting against their economic self interest and run the country off the cliff before us. Sad. Sad. Sad.
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Thank you, Rev. Wright, from the bottom of Hillary Clinton’s heart. John McCain thanks you too. You just keep on publicizing your respect of Louis Farrakhan. Be sure to hit that hard every time you speak for direct quotation [recommendation to the Press: be sure to mention Farrakhan's bat-shit crazy "mother-wheel" theory when he does].
You, Rev. Wright, might want to emphasize, also, how the brains of blacks and whites are different. Emphasizing your racist theories in the minds of Americans can only make things better for you and your Church, not to mention Obama’s chances this November.
Gorbe,
That’s because you no more see the distinction between the Wright/Obama relationship than any of the other Obama cheer-leaders. The difference is, no white politician has ever had the qualitative sort of relationship with those white preachers that Obama had and has with Wright. It’s because the white politicians have been smart enough not to join their Church, sit in their pews listening without public comment or complaint for 20 years to their idiotic lunacies, support their ministry for 20 years with their tithes, have them marry them to their spouse, baptize their children, write of them that they have long been their spiritual advisers. There has never been such a relationship by anyone, black or white.
But as a matter of factual accuracy, you’re wrong…white politicians have, for example, had damage inflicted by something as innocuous as planing to speak at Brigham Young University. No, of course that’s nowhere near as damning as Obama’s 20 year close, personal relationship and monetary support of Rev. Wright’s Church, but there it is.
By Dusty on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Why does Obama have to answer for Wrights words when everyone else is giving McCain a pass on that wingnut Haggee’s diatribes?
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Rube,
Another one who thinks that economic interests are the only interests worth voting on! How’s that theory been working for you so far? Don’t you, at some point, have to abandon a theory that doesn’t come anywhere near predicting the actual voting patterns of the American electorate? When will you learn that, in a country as prosperous as America, no matter what voters tell pollsters about what are their top-most concerns, people have the luxury of voting many other things besides economics…and do? Unless a people are starving, economics just are not the most important thing on people’s minds most of the time, in my opinion.
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Dusty,
I’ll let Obama answer your question:
Get it now? Hagee is not now and has never been McCain’s pastor, let alone for 20 years. McCain has never, to my knowledge, sat through a single Hagee sermon, let alone 20 years of them. McCain has never, to my knowledge, ever given one thin dime to Hagee’s ministry, let alone 20 years and tens of thousands of dollars. If you cannot see how a person’s choice to sit in Church, support said Church, listen to sermons without a single public comment or dissent until Wright’s sentiments became a pulic nuisance to Obama’s candidacy, making Wright Obama’s spiritual mentor and guide makes Wright an issue for Obama quite unlike Hagee to McCain, well, I’d be very surprised, given how you quit your Church over the pastor’s sentiments and actions regarding abortion. Apparently, in 20 years, Obama never heard or saw anything that troubled him nearly so much as that protest troubled you.
There. You perfectly illustrate why Wright is an issue for Obama. 20 years of choice to stay. His choice to stay implies assent or at least, not strong enough dissent to leave.
I hope that helps answer your question.
By Dusty on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Don’t condescend to me Craig.
First off, McCain sought out Hagee’s endorsement, which I find far more offensive..going after a wingnut of his ilk.
Second, McCain admits he sought that wingnuts endorsement and still welcomes it.
And no, you didn’t even come close in answering my question.
third, I am talking abut the press’s reaction, not Obama’s.
By Lisa on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
Yeah maybe we’d feel better had Ahmed Yousef endorsed McCain rather than Obama. That would ease my mind.
By rube cretin on Apr 28, 2008 | Reply
CH
working pretty well for me. Retired several decades ago at age 53 and have a little natural resource capital. But, people are starving! Not at my house, but they are across the world and in many places its beginning in America. You are correct that people vote other issues and that is the point I was trying to make. Folks who are paying attention are beginning to recognize their very economic and physical survival is jeopardized by the policies implemented in the past few years which have heavily favored the rich and connected. McCain represents more of the same.
“When will you learn that, in a country as prosperous as America, no matter what voters tell pollsters about what are their top-most concerns, people have the luxury of voting many other things besides economics…and do?” My friend, (i believe that is one of McCains favorite phases), America is bankrupt. Inflation if eating up the dollar, energy and food prices are increasing daily, jobs have been shipped overseas, sovereign nations are buying up our choice businesses and properties, we are in a war that is costing billions daily, etc. if you think we are prosperous you need to look around. No, this time i am confident issues like the Revs truthful comments will not divert the majority of the voters attention from the real issues. A little free economic advice. “Get thee to the non-discretionary side of the economy.”
By christopher Radulich on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
Okay… let us create a world and put all the non-believing atheist liberals in power… Then what?
well the world would be a lot better place. probably less wars and more help for people. When was the last time you heard a group of atheist having sex with their children like the Texas group?
By Dusty on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
Chris,I agree.. those trashy non-believing atheist liberals would probably do a better job than the bible-thumping variety currently running our govt. For starters, they wouldn’t give a hoot if people worshiped on their own time and who they put up on that pedestal.
Keeping religion out of government would be a great start.
By rube cretin on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
“The baths, the wine, and Venus corrupt our bodies,
But the baths, the wine and Venus are our life…”
-Inscription found on a Roman tomb
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
Dusty,
I wasn’t condescending to you, I was answering your question: just as Obama explained, he gets hammered over Wright because he chose for 20 years to keep Wright as his pastor, a thoroughly personal act that is deeply indicative of the chooser’s inmost beliefs, thoughts and vision of the world whereas choosing a political supporter is nearly meaningless beyond the fact that every politician that hopes to win an election must build a coalition from people, none of whom the politician is likely to agree with 100%. That’s the answer. The fact that you don’t like the answer is not my problem.
You castigate McCain for seeking out Hagee but, as I’ve repeatedly pointed out to you, Obama did so much more than that with Wright (and what do you call Wright but an ilk?). Obama sought out Wright constantly for 20 years not just for Wright’s support but to support Wright and his preaching. Did McCain support Hagee? That’s not a rhetorical question. It’s a yes or no question. If you don’t consider that to be vastly more indicative of Obama’s state of mind and soul and politics than McCain merely building a coalition with some guy that McCain has never been a member of the Church, never listened to his sermons, never made his pastor, never made his adviser, never supported, I don’t know what else to say. Have a great evening because we’re never going to see eye to eye on this and I’m tired of repeating myself to no effect.
Rube,
Well, you have your point of view, I have mine. Prosperity is relative. If you DON’T think America is prosperous, you need to look around at most of the rest of the world. Compared to 9/10ths of the world’s population, every person in America is wealthy beyond the imagination of those other 9/10ths of the world. I’ve got no more to say on the subject. If we can agree to disagree, we’ll get along just fine.
By Dusty on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
Boy, you sure want to paint McCain as pure in your comment. McCain knew what kind of wingnut Hagee is..who are you kidding? Pandering to that fool is disgusting on any level.
Using a wide brush to paint Obama with only speaks to your narrow-mindedness Craig. I think Obama is his own man, and he has never indicated that he is racist or a believer in AIDS being created to kill off African-Americans.
Again..one more friggin time..I don’t care what Obama said..I want to know why McCain gets a free pass for embracing Hagee who is as big a wingnut as there is out there in Theocracy-land. From McCains own piehole:
“I’m very honored by Pastor John Hagee’s endorsement today,” McCain said at a news conference. “He has been the staunchest leader of our Christian evangelical movement in many areas, but especially, most especially, his close ties and advocacy for the freedom and independence of the state of Israel.”-He said this as Hagee stood next to him.
Obama on the other hand, hasn’t been seen in public with Wright for years, and disinvited him to a gathering long before Wright became a household name.
But by all means use different standards to judge both these candidates.
By Lisa on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
I think the reason McCain associated himself with Hagee is different than the reasons Obama is associated with Wright.
By mr bigstuff on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
I’ll bet lisa, craig and steve have already signed up for hagees next weekend getaway. what a wonderful way for them share viewpoints with their like-minded ilk.
notice how one of hagees morons almost but not quite figured out the joke about taibbis drunken clown father beating him with an oversized shoe. i’ll bet lisa has already advised her friends and family to watch out for those drunken child abusing clowns at the next barnum and bailey show. praise the lord.
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
I had abandoned this thread because I think I had said what needed to be said in support of my thesis but now I’ve been charged with a species of hypocrisy, requiring reply. I reply that I am not applying two standards to two candidates. I am applying one standard to two situations that are sufficiently distinct, in my opinion and, it seems, in the opinion of the media as well, to require different conclusions regarding each of the two candidates relationships to the religious wack-a-do in their respective lives and the significance of those relationships in revealing the qualitative and quantitative nature of each candidate’s religious, sociological and political opinions and the significance of what each relationship for a potential US President.
Hence, no hypocrisy.
Finis.
By Dusty on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
Well, opinions are worth exactly what Craig? You are, in MY opinion, using a double standard with your candidate McCain and Hagee vs Barack Obama and Wright.
You assume many things about the relationship between Obama and Wright and McCain and Hagee.
McCain’s lack of ethics in pandering to the wingnut Hagee, I can only hope he never gets to plant his ass in the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office.
By Lisa on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
Not that I have to explain anything to you Mr Biggie but I don’t go to church and I don’t practice abny religion. Unlike your religion of fear and hate.
You’re probably not so big anyway.
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
Mr. Bigstuff,
By the author’s own account, just about every word out of his mouth on the weekend was a lie. What makes you think his article wasn’t mostly or completely fabricated? Because journalists never lie? Do the words, “Stephen”, Glass”, “Jason” and “Blair” mean anything to you?
Do you believe EVERYTHING you read, so long as it ridicules those you consider ridiculous?
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
And, no. I have no intention of signing up for any of Hagee’s weekends. He’s not my cup of religious tea, let us just say. I am not, in any case, an Evangelical in the sense that Hagee is. I don’t agree with Hagee’s positions vis a vis Catholics or, if the article accurately conveys his position vis a vis barfing demons into barf-bags, so far as I am aware of those positions.
Suggesting things like that about people you know next to nothing about is pretty ignorant.
By Craig R. Harmon on Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
Dusty,
Well, we each think what we think. I’m done with this. Your last comment will, for my part, stand as the last word.