How to Solve the Energy Crisis
April 30th, 2008 | by Tom Harper |Any time there’s a crisis, some demagogue or politician (is there a difference?) will come up with a magic solution. And somehow this “solution” always seems to be the exact same thing that this demagogue has always wanted to do. How convenient.
Ask Grover Norquist to solve a problem, any problem: “Shrink government down to the size of a bathtub and then drown it.”
How would James Dobson solve the same problem? “Bring Jesus back into our lives. Ban abortion. Kill all those $#!$%&!# homosexuals!”
And now the President of the Oil Industry has the solution to our economic crisis: Drill for oil. Now!!! Get those $#!$%&!# trees and animals out of the way and start drilling Goddamnit!
Funny how this MSNBC headline was worded (it’s that damn liberal media again): “Bush Chides Congress For Lack of Action.” Kind of sounds like our hands-off free-enterprise president wants to roll up his sleeves and get in there and fix things and help people, while those meddling big-government Democrats are just sitting there doing nothing.
According to this survey, gasoline prices are America’s most urgent problem. This is a more serious problem than the war in Iraq? Jobs? Health care? Oooookay.
This is excellent news for Bush and his puppetmasters. (And in a related story, ExxonMobil is just about to become the world’s 18th largest economy. Their year-end revenue is expected to be higher than the Gross Domestic Product of Sweden, currently number 18.)
Bush started today’s press conference by saying he’s “open to any ideas.” And these ideas run the full gamut from A to B: Drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. And let’s rip open those useless national parks and national forests and drill drill drill!. We need to build more oil refineries, and let’s get rid of those cumbersome clean air regulations.
Bush also wants to use closed military bases as sites for new refineries. The oil industry isn’t even interested in this idea, since most of these bases aren’t near any oil pipelines.
5 Responses to “How to Solve the Energy Crisis”
By steve on Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
“According to this survey, gasoline prices are America’s most urgent problem. This is a more serious problem than the war in Iraq? Jobs? Health care? Oooookay.”
Well… interesting. I didn’t get pissed until the gas pump said $90 this week. Californians have been getting the shaft on gas for years. I paid $4.22 on Sunday. Granted it was Super Unleaded because I drive one of the few vehicles that actually need it. I tried to think at $70 what I was really sacrificing. Nothing in my life seems to be wavering except for maybe one less pizza outing a month (with a 2 year old, you have a lot of pizza). Or perhaps one less iTunes purchase. But I still spend $5.80 each morning at Peet’s Coffee. I see no need to cut that. But maybe I adjust eat out less to eating at home more. The wife has been going to Costco more than not for groceries. I just don’t see where we are really concerned about fuel costs.
Using the military bases is a great idea. Drilling in Anwar is a great idea. Why not? All you libs hate the fact we are in the middle east fighting for oil. There really isn’t a viable source for an alternative energy right now out there so why not? Get it up there and get out. If I were Congress, I’d say to McCain next year… hey, we’ll let you get the oil out of Anwar if you get us out of Iraq now! Hell yes I would sign as long as it makes sense.
The Brits and Euros have been paying far more than $4 a gallon for gas for years. Why is the concept so hard for America.
By Lisa on Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
“Funny how this MSNBC headline was worded (it’s that damn liberal media again): “Bush Chides Congress For Lack of Action”
Wow that must have been the “bi-monthly” headline that tilts right. Don’t blink or you’ll miss it.
By manapp99 on Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
When Bush chided the congress for not allowing drilling in ANWR he was chiding Republicans as well as Democrats. His original campaign in 2000 included increased oil production and refinery capacity here as opposed to relying on Mid-East oil. He was correct in asserting that we would have more ablilty to affect price if we had greater domestic capability. As congress did nothing with his request to expand here, most notably ANWR but also including expanded exploration in the Gulf of Mexico and off the coasts of FL and CA, they are being rightfully held accountable. As they should be.
By Jersey McJones on Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
Anyone who thinks we can drill our way out of 25% of the world’s oil consumption with 2% of the world’s reserves is a moron. Period.
JMJ
By rube cretin on May 1, 2008 | Reply
steve,
Beat the rush. Buy a long handle shovel, a hoe and a bow rake. Go over to your community garden. Get a plot. Tell the neighbors you’re a rookie. See what happens.
jersey,
when thinking about the facade around steve, “”It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” — Upton Sinclair