Bring It On!

Happy Mission Accomplished Day

May 1st, 2008 | by Tom Harper |

Yes, our little Cakewalk is five years old today. Democracy is flowering in the Middle East. The American economy is booming.

And America’s global image is better than ever. When Saddam Hussein was getting ready to take over the world, most countries just sat there cowering. But not us! We marched right in there and did what needed doing. We seized those Weapons of Mass Destruction (and just in time!).

We delivered a knockout punch to al Qaeda, who had been helping Saddam with his evil plans. And then we left. And we’ve been the world’s heroes ever since.

And how about those rock-bottom gas prices. I’ll have to admit (sheepishly), five and a half years ago I thought it was a little tacky to invade a country just for their huge oil supply. But Hot Damn, it was worth it!

Booming economy, the world’s adoration, an endless supply of cheap oil — liberating Iraq was the greatest thing we ever did. It’s just too bad that George W. Bush has so little time left in office. Can’t we get rid of that pesky 22nd Amendment? If only Bush could have another four years — Hell, make it eight — [swooning] just think of the wonders he could perform.

During this period of unparalleled harmony among Americans, let’s have a look at how some people are celebrating Mission Accomplished Day.

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