Bring It On!

Why Yes, God Put That Banana In My Pocket

May 3rd, 2008 | by Daniel DiRito |

We’ve all heard about the images of Jesus, Mary, or some other godly persons face being found in the strangest of places…whether it be on a pancake, a potato chip, a section of tree bark, or the reflection on a window. Each new finding is touted as evidence that God exists and the faithful flock to witness each new miraculous image…some seeking cures for illness…others simply looking to be in the presence of a divine apparition.

Well according to the following God Tube video, the same can be achieved at the dinner table in every home. Yes, if you simply take a closer look at the vegetables you eat, you will find all the evidence you need that we exist as the result of the great works of an intelligent creator…and we are not the outcome of a lengthy evolutionary process.

I like to call all of this the science of random recognitions and coincidental comparisons. Essentially, if one were to look at every rock or every potato chip, there would be numerous examples of recognizable images. It’s simply inevitable…just as it’s likely that someone somewhere in the world looks remarkably similar to each of us.

In my sarcastic moments, I like to think these replications are evidence that God is prone to laziness. Yes, it seems that God is often a temperamental artist. Apparently he has days when creating is just too damn boring or he’s simply out of ideas and he pulls out some of the older molds and sprinkles the world with batches of duplicates he hopes no one will recognize as identical ‘carbon copies’.

Once I watched the video, it all started to make sense. No wonder so many people don’t like vegetables. I imagine that somewhere in the outer reaches of our psyches, we have this strange suspicion that eating an avocado is just too closely connected to cannibalism. Fruit, on the other hand is a different story. I now realize why men can’t resist grapefruit and women love bananas.

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  1. 5 Responses to “Why Yes, God Put That Banana In My Pocket”

  2. By rube cretin on May 4, 2008 | Reply

    “Just because a person has faith doesn’t mean that he isn’t full of crap.”– Pastordan

  3. By Lisa on May 5, 2008 | Reply

    Rube-You wouldn’t be full of crap if you were eating your vegetables.
    Actaully this says the Chinese made this association 5000 years ago. I guess they were Right Wing Nuts too.

  4. By Paul Watson on May 5, 2008 | Reply

    All he said was just because you have faith, doesn’t mean you’re right. It doesn’t mean you’re not either. Feeling a tad insecure about something, are you?

  5. By Lisa on May 5, 2008 | Reply

    Hey Paul by the way congratulations on Boris Johnson.

  6. By Ken Grandlund on May 6, 2008 | Reply

    Holy Crap! How did those heathen Chinese of millenia ago put all this together? They predate Christianity and thus have no standing in heaven anyhow?

    This is the most amusing thing I’ve seen so far today.

    Imagine my surprise when cutting into a dozen avocados this last weekend and finding out I’d inadvertently aborted a dozen fetuses.

    I wonder where all the research documentation for this piece ended up? Probably down the drain with all the potato peels.

    And speaking of potatos…I bet the producers of this piece have a bit of gravy on the brain…er…walnut.

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