White Punks On Dope!
June 7th, 2008 | by Tom Harper |Summer is approaching. While we’re all looking forward to those days at the beach and long evenings in the backyard, summer can be a dangerous time. If you’re concerned about Family Values and the moral fiber of this great nation, you’re probably dreading the arrival of those outdoor rock and roll festivals.
Our young people should be studying, working, praying, trying to better themselves — not listening to the Devil’s Music, cavorting half-naked and moving their hips in ways God never intended.
And worst of all — the Drugs! Thousands of decadent no-accounts shooting LSD, snorting marijuana and God knows what else — it’s enough to make you pray that the Rapture will hurry up and get here.
Fortunately, a few redneck police departments (with lots of gung ho narcs helping them out) are getting ready to tackle this serious problem. And they have a potent new weapon: Cultural Profiling. Nail those F#$%&! hippies and throw the key away!
“Routine” traffic stops — or even a highway drug checkpoint disguised as a “safety check” — will be set up on the roads leading to and from these rock festivals. And these “routine” stops and “safety checks” will include drug-sniffing police dogs. There’ll also be lots of undercover cops and narcs inside the festivals themselves.
Thank God this is a high priority. Your tax dollars at work.
Last weekend, the 2008 Summer Camp Festival in Chillicothe, IL was attended by 13,000 rock fans. Narcs and cops swooped in and made twenty drug arrests for pot, LSD and ecstasy. The local police chief beamed: “I think a lot of it had to do with all of the agencies getting together before the event and really planning out our attack.”
Whew! The citizens of Illinois are safe — for now! — from those pot-crazed maniacs.
And in Habersham County, Georgia, a 24-hour highway checkpoint yielded 31 drug arrests (mostly marijuana of course). The value of the cars and other property seized was $82,000. Yeehaw! Git ‘er done!
OK, I admit it — Conservatives were right. I sure do love this here Limited Government.
3 Responses to “White Punks On Dope!”
By Steve O on Jun 8, 2008 | Reply
You can have my pot when you pry it from my stoned dead hands!!!! Can I die from pot?
By Tom Harper on Jun 8, 2008 | Reply
I guess you can’t die from that terrible drug, but remember, it causes raving insanity and leads to heroin
By Liberal Jarhead on Jun 9, 2008 | Reply
I have to shake my head every time I see somebody on TV, almost always a cop, referring to marijuana (or cocaine for that matter) as a narcotic. Narcotics are opiates like heroin. Get it straight, people.
That property forfeiture has become a real tail wagging the dog. A friend of mine - an ex-cop, ironically - was on a cross-country motorcycle trip with a buddy, and in one southern state when they stopped at a hamburger place for lunch, a guy who John (my friend) said smelled like a narc from 50 yards away came up and tried to sell them some dope - they told him several times they weren’t interested and finally had to get in his face and threaten to make a citizen’s arrest. John said he knew right away that the motivation was to have an excuse to impound their Harleys. I suspect he was right. It’s become kind of like the Inquisition, when the church and crown in some European countries would team up to denounce people as heretics or witches and then split their their property (or cancel debts for money they owed those people.)