Why Do We Have An Energy Crisis? It’s Those Goddamn F&!%$#%!$ Treehuggers!!
June 23rd, 2008 | by Tom Harper |How can we get gasoline back down to 32 cents a gallon? By drilling, drilling and more drilling. We have trillions and quatrabazillions of barrels of oil right under our feet, and it’s just sitting there.
National parks, national forests, wildlife sanctuaries, oceans — guess what’s underneath all those things? OIL! And we need it! NOW! And if it weren’t for those navel-gazing nature-worshipping PETA flag-burners, we’d have it. It’s all THEIR fault that gas is almost $5 a gallon and the economy is imploding.
According to this survey, 74% of likely voters actually believe the above bullshit. WTF??? Has American education really plummeted that far? Is somebody putting Stupid Pills in our drinking water? The term “critical thinking” is now officially an oxymoron.
No, the energy crisis has nothing to do with supplies and prices being manipulated by the international oil cartel. Energy speculators, you say? Bah! You’re just engaging in class warfare. Commie!
Undoubtedly the oil companies were anticipating — correctly! — that if they drove up the price of oil high enough, the American public would conserve energy and become even more adamant about developing renewable energy sources fall hook line and sinker, and obediently recite “Fuck those endangered species. We need that there oil. Git it! Now!”
And those survey respondents were likely voters?!?!?!? Aren’t there some sort of minimal requirements for being able to vote? If those people are really that gullible, somebody should direct them to the nearest outhouse and tell them it’s the voting booth. “To find the voting lever, lift up the lid and reach waaaay down…”
There probably isn’t a truth-in-labeling law for American currency, but why don’t we be honest with ourselves. It’s time to scrape off that “e pluribus unum” nonsense and replace it with the true voice of the American public: “DUUUHHH!!!”
4 Responses to “Why Do We Have An Energy Crisis? It’s Those Goddamn F&!%$#%!$ Treehuggers!!”
By Paul Merda on Jun 23, 2008 | Reply
Tom,
Are you really surprised most Americans are morons?? Its been a long time coming that we are going to screw ourselves because of the short-sighted American way of life… Hold on, its gonna be a rough ride.
By rube cretin on Jun 23, 2008 | Reply
Otto von Bismarck once remarked, “There is a Providence that protects idiots, drunkards, children and the United States of America.” Destiny is about to turn into fate with this energy situation. Unfortunately the truth is difficult to understand and our nation is likely to turn to the blame game rather than getting prepared for the long decent into life styles most are not prepared to live.
By Liberal Jarhead on Jun 24, 2008 | Reply
It isn’t just the current version of American society, or Americans in general - the large majority of human beings never learn to think critically and analytically or to keep an open mind, because the people who control the education systems have structured those systems to produce docile and easily manipulated worker bees rather than independent-minded, authority-questioning citizens.
This doesn’t excuse us as individuals, though. We still have the obligation to self-educate ourselves into real adults rather than the perpetual adolescents that big business and government find more pliable and useful. But Americans today are harder-working physically in terms of our jobs, lazier mentally in terms of questioning what we’re told to believe, picking the news to pieces and figuring things out for ourselves, and more fearful in terms of being afraid to buck the herd, than we can afford to be.
Tom Brokaw designated the generation that grew up in the Depression and fought World War II “The Greatest Generation” - the generation that are being born now are going to go through trials every bit as harsh as those, and worse - droughts in some places and floods elsewhere, food and water shortages, wars over energy and water, new epidemics, and a new Depression that will make the 1930s look like a warmup. And they’ll be looking back at us and asking us, “How could you let things get like this? You were warned about these things happening if you didn’t act to avoid them.” And we will have no decent excuses or alibis; we may go down in history as “The Worst Generation.”
By mr bigstuff on Jun 24, 2008 | Reply
LJ,
no doubt. the greatest generation begat the dumbest generation in 60 short years thanks to many factors with fox noise being the most recent and predominant offender. evangelical private schools have certainly dumbed down their share of sheep. the mindlessness of american pop-culture that considers american idol a “talent” showcase of entertainment and counts celebrity lives and nancy grace as news has resulted in a populace that no longer reads books and newspapers but takes as fact baseless statements made by known, proven liars such as george g.d.w.m.f. bush. no wonder 50 some odd million fools voted for him twice.