Bring It On!

John “Chuckles” McCain: Politician, Panderer, Or Humorist?

August 5th, 2008 | by Daniel DiRito |

The McCain campaign wants us to believe that their recent attack ads are simply an attempt to inject a little humor into the 2008 election. Yes, we’re supposed to conclude that a campaign with a significant fund raising disadvantage has decided to magnanimously toss money down the drain to make us laugh. Oh my, that’s funny, isn’t it? I can’t wait till the McCain campaign offers each voter free ice cream and popsicles to combat the summer heat. He’s too good to us, isn’t he?

But there’s more. John McCain wants us to know that he’s behind the oil industry 100 percent. Not only does he support offshore oil drilling and tax incentives to big oil companies, he’s taking on Barack Obama’s mean spirited effort to reduce gas consumption and deny these industry titans the kind of profits they’ve come to expect under the Bush administration.

To that end, John McCain won’t stand for the dirty politics of the Obama campaign. He wants Americans to know that the best way to wean ourselves off of petroleum products is to incentivize those who make billions of dollars selling it to us. Makes perfect sense, right? I call it the Little Red Riding Hood initiative. In other words, if you’re lost in the energy dependency forest, there’s only one way out…hand over our keys and our cash to the energy wolves and thank them for their willingness to save us.

You see, in the bizarro world of John McCain, it’s all about inflation…no, not the kind that relates to one’s tires, the kind that peels money out of your wallet like rubber off the tires at a crazy car race. I can’t wait until the McCain campaign decides to remake the Viva Viagra commercial to tout this strategy and give us another gigantic guffaw. It might go something like this:

Got me the money gonna sell my soul I’m gonna sell my soul for hire

At the end of the day I’m not a guy who’s strayed cause oil’s my heart’s desire.

Now this old toad is slick as the road I can’t wait

Can’t wait!

Can’t wait to go low

Lose your tire gauges

Lose your, lose your…tire gauges!

No, I’m not getting a chuckle out of the McCain comedy sketch. In fact, I suspect that the McCain idea tank has been out of gas and running on fumes for some time now. In fact, the McCain straight talk express appears to be little more than a short sighted bus with deflated tires and a big old bag of wind at the wheel. Now that’s a joke I can understand.

In the interest of comic equality, here’s a couple videos John McCain might not find so funny.

Britney & McCain In 2008

McCain Girl & The Enchanted Republican Forest

Cross-posted at Thought Theater

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  1. One Response to “John “Chuckles” McCain: Politician, Panderer, Or Humorist?”

  2. By admin on Aug 5, 2008 | Reply

    Good job Daniel, but now I’ll have that song in my head all day…

    John McCain - The Short Bus Express.

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