A Roadie for the Rock Star
August 6th, 2008 | by Omnipotent Poobah |
Depending on which McCain ad you see, Johnny Walnuts thinks Obama is either a rock star or Charlton Heston wannabee. As the ads correctly assert, the O-Man can fire up a crowd and get them thinking seditiously about hope and change. However, McCain seems to think the ability to talk to the masses is somehow a failing in a potential president. I suppose that’s proven by the lack of tributes to McCain’s or Bush’s ability to pack the house with barn-burning speechifying.
Despite what Johnny Not Bush would have you believe, great oratory is an important skill for the Leader of the Kinda of Free WorldTM. Although it isn’t the only criterion, a President who can inspire people actually gets things done. Certainly more done than an oratorical oaf who’s idea of inspiration is “my way or the highway” said through a mouthful of Crawford’s finest cow crap. And now, in the opening days of Dumbya’s Farewell Asia Tour, the Chump-in-Chief demonstrates what happens when your speeches consist of malapropisms and unneeded bluster.
Johnny, please take note.
Hundreds of South Koreans - you know, the ones who aren’t in the Axis of Evil - rioted during Dumbya’s first stop on his Farewell to Asia Tour. About 18,000 of Seoul’s Finest responded with a good old fashioned beat-down of the “adoring” crowd. In what’s become classic Bushonian irony, the planned prayer breakfast and pro-American speeches were to have taken place under balloons and banners welcoming El Jefe.
Bush may not claim to be a rock star, but he does think he’s a swell fella who regularly talks to the Big Guy - it’s just not clear whether he means the actual Big Guy or Charlton Heston. In this case, he did manage to pack the house with nearly Obama-like numbers, but people hated the guy so much they were willing to take a water cannon up the ass to show their displeasure…in a country that’s overwhelmingly pro-American.
Of course, John Boy hasn’t had misfortune on this scale quite yet. For one thing, he’s never been close to drawing a throng - except for titties and beer conventions - his draws are usually more like monthly meetings of the Kokomo Lion’s Club. But Walnuts has that special Bush talent. Every day he works diligently to talk out of both sides of his mouth while forgetting questions and basic geography. He still needs a little work on malapropisms to be a master like Yoda W. Bush, but I’m convinced he has it in him.
So at this point, I’m a roadie for the “inexperienced” Messianic rock star who isn’t ready to lead. Better him than a Zen malapropism master’s apprentice who has enough “experience” to prove he’s even less ready.
Besides, I’m not a big fan of water cannons up the kiester. Call me funny that way.
Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!
