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Top Ten Reasons John McCain Chose Sarah Palin

September 4th, 2008 | by Daniel DiRito |

As I’ve considered John McCain’s selection of Sarah Palin, and her acceptance speech last evening, I just couldn’t convince myself to take either all that seriously.

Yes, it was a well-designed and delivered speech and it received glowing reviews from those in attendance, including the media.

However, the wisdom of the Palin selection is still open to debate…and the content of her speech will still have to be reconciled with the facts.

While that process unfolds, I decided to offer the following tongue-in-cheek list of the top ten reasons John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate.

Number Ten:

If you’re campaign is at a dead end, why not hire the candidate who wanted to build a bridge to nowhere.

Number Nine:

He needed to add the idea of change to his message of experience…and Sarah Palin brings both. In fact, she has an abundance of experience…changing diapers.

Number Eight:

The only way to combat “high-flown speechmaking” is with “low-road sarcasm”.

Number Seven:

John McCain is a man of vision who thinks ahead. If he’s elected president, he’ll need seven house sitters…and the Palin family perfectly fits that parameter.

Number Six:

The best way to keep the attention off of Cindy McCain’s $300,000.00 outfit was to employ a mudslinging pit bull hockey mom.

Number Five:

Cindy McCain became an instant Palin cheerleader when she heard that Wasilla was the meth capital of Alaska.

Number Four:

It’s all about the art of innuendo. Palin had John McCain eating out of her hand the minute “Lay more pipeline” came out of her mouth. After all, John McCain has always been fond of drilling…women.

Number Three:

If you can’t deliver the beef, go for the girl who can carve the caribou.

Number Two:

His pit bull won’t wear lipstick.

Number One:

You have to admire a woman with an unwed pregnant teenage daughter who continues to push for more drilling in regions that are off-limits.

Bonus Reason:

When John McCain compared the fact that Barack Obama “authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform” with the reports that Sarah Palin authored countless emails that may have broke the law, he knew she was the right choice for a third Bush administration.

Cross-posted at Thought Theater

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  1. 4 Responses to “Top Ten Reasons John McCain Chose Sarah Palin”

  2. By steve on Sep 4, 2008 | Reply

    C’mon Daniel… you have to admit… He picked her because she is hot!!

  3. By Daniel DiRito on Sep 4, 2008 | Reply

    Steve, she’s not my type so I’ll have to let my hetero friends decide just how hot she may be.

    FYI…I didn’t see anyone in the media reporting on this…but if you watch the video of the day McCain announced Palin as his running mate…he was standing there and grabbed his ring finger…seemingly realizing he didn’t have his wedding ring on…he then reached into his pocket as if to look for the ring…which he didn’t apparently find…and then proceeded to fiddle with his finger.

    I looked at a few other videos (debates mostly) and saw that he does normally wear a wedding ring. Freudian? Who knows…but you may well be right as to his reason for choosing Palin. Go take a look at the video of McCain introducing her and let me know what you think.

    Daniel

  4. By Matthew O'Keefe on Sep 4, 2008 | Reply

    Very well done Daniel!!! Blew me away! I just loved the house sitter reason… ROFLMAO!

  5. By Iago on Sep 23, 2008 | Reply

    Bonus Reason Two

    McCain is an idiot.

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