Bring It On!

The Straight Talk Express to Sarah’s Lying Limo Service

September 16th, 2008 | by Omnipotent Poobah |

Lying McCainIt’s only been a few days since Hurricane Sarah breached the political levees along the Potomac. Within moments of her Minneapolis coronation, many began asking legitimate questions about her qualifications. It’s fair to say most found her wanting. While the campaign shopped her around for a sufficiently deferential first interviewer they also brainstormed a way to make those inconvenient qualification questions go away.

They decided to simply lie…with impunity.

They calculated McCain must join at the hip with his charismatic Veep wannabe to create a sort of “Siamese McTwin” ticket. John came from the dusty prop closet and Palin became the hungry young face that launched a thousand crowds. They found crowd sizes improved (but not enough to avoid stretching the counts), those snarling for raw meat were fed, and the poll numbers seemed to validate their strategy.

Sarah’s Lying Limo Service
But there was that lying thing. McCain let his young protege do the dirty work for a few days before jumping off the Straight Talk Express in favor of Sarah’s Lying Limo Service. We’re seeing a competition between the two syllables in McPalin for who can lie the most often. The problem is, neither of them is very good at it, despite years of experience.

Obama has been running against McPalin as an extension of Bushonian rape and pillage. Since the poll-challenged Prez is so reviled, that looked like a pretty easy sell. But the Republican polls only improved as those “values voters” who dismissed Bill Clinton as Slick Willy and embraced Bush as the Great Truth Teller got a full-blown case of amnesia. Suddenly telling the truth was an optional value for values voters. Their acquaintance with repeated Bush lies led them to easily accept McPalin lies. After all, the country’s situation is dire and the electorate has been lied too so often they can’t handle the truth anymore. Clearly, the American public has learned little in eight years.

With Bush poll numbers so low, it’s hard to tell why voters are allowing themselves to be led down such a familiar, pothole-cratered path. They just walk down Lemming Lane chanting “USA, USA, USA!” as McPalin lets fly with yet another lie. The more this happens, the more it looks like the future could hold a new truth-challenged administration - one more evangelically hostile to truth, sunshine, and Constitutionality. But this new administration will go the Bushies one better.

The Early Days of Team Carbuncle
Team Carbuncle may have played dirty in their early days, but when they lied at least they tried to make it palatable. It wasn’t until later, when Napoleonic hubris took over, that they completely abandoned all pretense and lied about everything with nary a blink of the eye. The McPalins, however, started with the implausible lies and are throwing in a moving van full of pointless distractions wearing lipstick to boot. It’s a shocker when Karl Rove thinks a Republican is going off the deep end (you’d expect him to say that about the Dems and he does) and even more of a shocker when a former stand-up comedienne on a show that primarily exists to discuss recipes can find it so easy to eviscerate McMethusila and his wife, Geriatric Barbie. Their inability to tell plausible lies is a sure sign that political experience doesn’t show up on either of their padded resumes.

Pundits are belatedly hopping aboard the Straight Lie Express and bemoaning McCain’s loss of pious integrity and Maverick persona. But those attributes were two of McCain’s first and worst lies - he told them to himself and believed them. He’s never been an integrity merchant. McCain’s the one who kicked wife No. 1 to the curb when physical injuries and age damaged her as arm candy. McCain was a Keating 5 man, gausily apologetic (”I was only trying to help a friend”), but who crafted campaign finance reform and then made it the centerpiece of his career to weaken it. Maverick McCain showed his cajones by breaking with the Bush administration by voting with them 90 percent of the time.

This is the record of a Maverick with superhuman integrity? This man is a recidivist liar whose sense of entitlement is based on his family connections, an unfounded reputation for an avuncular personality, and a soft head that falls prey to his own lies. The only truth that can be said of McPalin is that they tell lies.

Is that the sound of a myth exploding?
Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

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