Bring It On!

John McCain: R.I.P.

September 19th, 2008 | by Tom Harper |

John McCain’s death was already tragic. But now, to make the pain and suffering even more unbearable: some sick twisted leftwing demon — a Body Snatcher — has hijacked John McCain’s corpse.

And this — this Thing! — is STILL running for president! It’s trying to use the body of The Maverick™ as a Trojan Horse; trying to smuggle Communism into the White House. Poor old John McCain must be just twisting and turning in his grave.

The agony! The FURY of watching helplessly while his own corpse is walking around engaging in socialist rhetoric and Class Warfare. Conservatives, please understand that this is NOT the Maverick™ that you see on TV, talking about government regulation and trying to push for a — a Nanny State!

Seriously, how can McCain keep a straight face these days? Thirty years of “bootstraps” and “free market” rhetoric, and suddenly he’s clamoring for government regulation and helping those whiny consumers. Is anybody gullible enough to believe this?? Within hours of declaring that “the fundamentals of the economy are sound,” McCain did a huge 180 and started pushing for government intervention and coddling the unwashed masses.

Imagine if the situation were reversed. America has been confronted with an urgent crisis, and suddenly Barack Obama starts shouting about “rugged individualism,” “limited government” and “let the marketplace decide.” Conservatives would be laughing their asses off and going “yeeaahh, riiight!”

But for McCain, thirty years of “sink or swim” and “get a grip, peons!” can just segue right into “oh my God, we need to jump in there and rescue everybody!” and nobody calls him on it. Oh that’s right, he was once a Prisoner of War, so it’s OK.

If the leader of the American Nazi Party started talking about tolerance and racial harmony, you’d be a little skeptical. (If not, check your pulse.) If you’re in favor of racial harmony, why not vote for the person who’s been preaching about it all along, and not somebody who just discovered it five minutes ago.

By the same token, if you agree with McCain’s sudden conversion to “government meddling in the marketplace,” why not vote for the party that’s already been endorsing that approach for several decades?

If you agree with John McCain’s newfound sense of urgency over the economy, then you’re a Democrat. A Big Government Liberal. Vote for Barack Obama.

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  1. 5 Responses to “John McCain: R.I.P.”

  2. By Craig R. Harmon on Sep 19, 2008 | Reply

    John McCain: anti-regulation?

    Four words: Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act.

    McCain LOVES regulating. Always has. It’s one of the reasons why he’s called a Maverick. It’s one of the reasons why he’s loved by the liberal press every time he bucks the GOP. It’s one of the reasons why conservatives were so depressed when McCain wound up on top. It’s one of the reasons why conservatives seriously considered staying home on election day. He’s no more a small government, laissez faire economist than Bush is, which, by the way, explains why McCain has so often voted with Bush. Indeed, he’s arguably even less so.

    And if you don’t think conservatives aren’t dinging McCain for the buy-outs, you’ve just not been paying attention to many (any?) actual conservatives.

  3. By Craig R. Harmon on Sep 19, 2008 | Reply

    In other words: this is just McCain being McCain as we conservative Republicans have long known and despised. Rumors of McCain’s death have been exaggerated.

  4. By Craig R. Harmon on Sep 19, 2008 | Reply

    He’s no more a small government, laissez faire economist than Bush is, which, by the way, explains why McCain has so often voted with Bush. Indeed, he’s arguably even less so.

    As an illustration, although Bush in the end did sign the McCain-Feingold bill into law, Bush admitted that, in his opinion, in at least some of its aspects, the BCRA was likely unconstitutional. Indeed, in one as-applied challenge to the bill, the Supreme Court agreed that the law, as it had been applied, WAS unconstitutional.

  5. By Tom Harper on Sep 19, 2008 | Reply

    But you’ve gotta admit, that was a pretty big 180 from “the fundamentals of the economy are sound” to “oh my God!” and “I’m gonna fire the head of the SEC!” There’s a reason they call him Weathervane McCain.

  6. By Craig R. Harmon on Sep 19, 2008 | Reply

    Tom,

    About that, I can’t comment. It seems to me that it’s possible to reconcile the two. The SEC is not in charge of the fundamentals of the economy so it is possible to think that the fundamentals of the economy are sound AND, simultaneously, to think the head of the SEC should be fired because things the head of the SEC has done or might do have endangered the basically sound fundamentals of the economy.

    But I can’t say that I fully understand economics and, for that reason I suppose, I haven’t followed McCain’s ramblings on the economy and the bailouts. You could well be right on that 180 thing.

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