Bring It On!

If the Shoe Were on the Other Foot

October 9th, 2008 | by Omnipotent Poobah |

MCCain Medical Treatment

In the wake of McCain campaign charges that Sen. Barack Obama is a close associate of former Weather Underground leader William Ayres, unidentified sources are now charging McCain himself may have associated with known communists in the past.

Sources say McCain met and negotiated with the communist Vietnamese government during a 5½ year stay at a luxury resort run by hotelier Baron Hilton.

The details of McCain’s meetings with the communists are not well-known, but appear to have centered on discussions with low-ranking officials about the quality of service at the hotel. McCain said he had unusual difficulties in working with the hotel’s concierge staff to obtain care for injuries sustained during an out-of-control welcoming ceremony hosted by the Vietnamese army - a ceremony in which McCain’s aircraft was destroyed. He also charged that the hotel’s food was substandard and his bed did not come equipped with Magic-Fingers. “The place was atrocious,” McCain said of the hotel at the time. “They apparently didn’t know who they were talking to.”

The Obama campaign reacted swiftly to the revelations. Obama campaign manager David Plouffe said, “Sen. McCain has thrown scurrilous charges at Sen. Obama throughout this campaign,” Plouffe said. “He has lied at every juncture and distorted Barack’s position on a whole host of issues. We don’t find it surprising that he has sympathies with our communist foes. Foes, I might add, that are hostile in voice and intent toward the United States. Foes that even hate America.”

When asked to comment during a campaign trip to in Dublin, OH, Obama said, “I respect John and all he’s done for this country. He is a man of honor and integrity, although his behavior lately has been quite erratic and troubling. I’m forced to wonder if his behavior might, in some way, be tied to the lengthy negotiation process between him and the Hilton camp and the stress of our arduous campaign.”

Gov. Sarah Palin, wasted no time in defending her running mate. Speaking from the steps of the Alaskan courthouse where Sen. Ted Stevens is on trial Palin said, “John McCain is a reformer and the only reason he ever agreed to talk to those communists was to convince them that deregulated capitalism, free markets, and tax cuts are the only way to run a country.” She continued with a knowing wink, saying, “John McCain is a maverick who stands up to unpopular positions like communism. I’m proud to be Sen. McCain’s running mate because my foreign policy qualifications are the perfect match to his tough, unyielding stance that communism is wrong by golly,” Plain added.

When asked to elaborate on her specific foreign policy experience with the Vietnamese, Palin said, “There was a nice young contestant in the Miss Alaska pageant. She had such beautiful skin. We discussed makeup tips and recipies every night and even though I no longer speak to her today, I’m sure we’ve remained friends since then,” Palin said. “Sadly, I found out later that she was Indian rather than Vietnamese, but that’s just a mark of the broad-based expertise I have in foreign policy. Let’s just face the truth, hockey moms know what’s in the best interest of Vietnam. You betcha.”

McCain himself weighed in at a press conference held a short time ago. His entire statement was, “My friends, maverick! Maverick! Maverick!”
Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

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