Omnipotent Poobah's Diary
  • Full name: Omnipotent Poobah

  • I am the Omnipotent Poobah, Grand Maven of all that is media.

    I speak the truth because I'm all-knowing and all-powerful! That Oz guy? Pure bush league.

    I believe everyone has a right to be heard and others have a right to smite them if they should so choose, but not before I get my licks in.

    I believe in the Constitution, Motherhood, and apple pie - in that order. Sanctimonious asshats? Not so much.

    I believe religion is a wonderful and beautiful thing, so long as you don't bother me with it. I take a very dim view of front porch preachers. Ask some who have felt my awesome wrath.

    I believe the truest test of a democracy is how it deals with its most loathsome practitioners.

    I believe it is much easier to destroy than to build. I never take the path of least resistance.

    I believe political correctness, no matter from which quarter, is a pox upon us all and should be terminated with extreme prejudice.

    I believe in Bring It On and all who dwell here. I have bestowed special omnipotent juju upon the lot of them. They are under my full and magnificent protection. Step away from the juju lest you be burned!

    I believe it is time for you to genuflect now.

    SUBMIT!

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May 2nd, 2007

Dear Mr. President

Note: After President Bush’s veto of the war funding bill, I sent the following email to the White House. In a departure from my usual practice, I have used my real name so that he is able to see exactly who I am and what I believe.

Dear Mr. President,

I am writing this letter in the unlikely event you will actually see these words. Even if you do, I know it is unlikely that you will heed my words where so many other more knowledgeable, powerful, and eloquent people have failed. Still, I am a loyal and patriotic American and believe it is my duty to make my voice heard. To do less would be to surrender my responsibilities as an American. To do less would make me exactly what you accuse your detractors of - traitors.
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Posted in General, DailyFeatured | 2 Comments »

April 29th, 2007

What’s It Like to Be a Dick?

Sometimes, I wonder what it’s like to be Dick Cheney. Is he really that sullen and sour in his personal life? Does he see plots around the corner from his living room as readily as he sees them in the Washington press corps? I’ve known more than my fair share of difficult and persnickety people, but Dick is at the extreme edge of the envelope.

The Cheney family (they pronounce it Chee-Nee) makes a little more sense.

Wife Lynn can be snippy while she unstintingly supports the Big Guy, but she at least smiles occasionally and intimates there may be an actual human being lurking under the skin. Daughter Mary is the lesbian who’s seemingly more sensible than Mom or Dad - perhaps that “gay gene” had a common sense enzyme attached to it. Daughter Elizabeth may be the smartest of the bunch. She’s normally remains in the background, just an entry in Dick’s Wikipedia entry, thereby avoiding the ill-will of the nation and two-thirds of the world.
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Posted in General, Politics, Current Affairs, Miscellaneous, Impeachment | 2 Comments »

April 26th, 2007

The Elvis Conspiracy

I’m not generally much of a conspiracy theorist. I don’t believe Elvis is in Wisconsin working at McDonald’s, or the moon landings were staged in a NASA studio, or that somehow the September 11 tragedies were purposely staged by the government. I am, by nature, a skeptic. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and try as hard as possible to base my decisions on fact.

However, I have a low tolerance for liars and charlatans once I do satisfy myself of their guilt. Nothing chaps me more than someone who tells a lie and then defends it by saying it’s to my advantage that they told the lie. I’m also inflamed by the notion that if said liar or charlatan is caught red-handed, telling the lie is somehow my fault. Someone telling a lie doesn’t make me a traitor, terrorist, or maniacal morale squasher.

It does, however, make them a liar.
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Posted in General, Politics, Current Affairs, Miscellaneous, Impeachment, Police State, IDIOT | 4 Comments »

April 21st, 2007

I’m Against Abortion

I’m pro-life.

I don’t think anyone could reasonably argue that abortions are good - not even the women who have them. They can be risky and sometimes women must deal with severe emotional and physical consequences. Whether you believe that life begins at conception or at any date along the gestation time line, abortions are procedures best avoided.

A Pound of Prevention…
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Posted in DailyFeatured | 13 Comments »

April 20th, 2007

Clap for the Wolfman…


Since he took office, the Employer-in-Chief has found any number of jobs for cronies, political hangers on, and incompetent boobs. Brownie, John Bolton, and half the graduates of Pat Robertson’s Regent University are just some of his spectacular hiring decisions. Apparently, George is setting himself up for a promising career with Monster.com after stepping down. This guy could put most placement services to shame - he works on commission too I hear. Very cost effective - if you are the hiree and not the hirer.

The success of his uberhires is on display again with another one of his placements under the gun - Paul Wolfowitz. After the neocon acolyte of Donald Rumsfeld showed the world his brilliant strategery for Iraq, the Recruiter-in-Chief found him a new gig as head of the World Bank. Paul spit-combed his hair, donned his best rat-chewed socks, and headed off for the Bank’s executive suite.

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Posted in Politics, Current Affairs, Economics, Right Wing Nut, World News, IDIOT | 1 Comment »

April 16th, 2007

Talk…Talk…Talk

As soon as the wrenching pain of Blacksburg settles into a dull ache, there’ll be plenty of hand-wringing over the largest shooting spree in America’s history. In a national expression of grief-stricken rubbernecking we’ll discuss gun control, security procedures, and the effect of violence in our culture. There’ll probably even be a television movie and book by May.

It’s not that these discussions aren’t important. They’re a way to scrub away a bit of the muck splashed upon all of us as we realize humans - despite what we like to think - are a curious, deeply-flawed breed. Despite all our good intentions and attempts to balance the needs and rights of the few against those of the many, someone comes along who simply refuses to be, well, civilized.

Dangerously Unhinged
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Posted in General, Current Affairs, Television, Miscellaneous, Video and Animation, World News | 7 Comments »

April 15th, 2007

News in Review

Rove Emails Deleted - According to the White House, nearly four years worth of emails sought by the Senate Judiciary Committee were accidentally deleted by President Bush’s political advisor Karl Rove. White House spokesperson Dana Perino said, “The President believes the emails were deleted by Al Qaeda operatives. He is quite disturbed by this action and has vowed to get to the bottom of it.”

“Anyone found guilty of this crime will be sentenced to a position as a federal prosecutor and summarily fired for never having graduated from law school,” Bush is quoted as saying. “I believe it is important for the public to appreciate the high levels of trust and honesty continuously displayed by my administration.”

When asked about the four year gap, Rove explained, “It was just a minor error. I leaned over to answer the phone and my foot hit the delete key,” Rove said. “It could have happened to anyone. The keyboard was only 12 feet away in the next office. Those democrats are just a bunch of nappy-headed hoes bent on the politics of personal destruction”
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Posted in General, Politics, Current Affairs, Right Wing Nut, Miscellaneous, World News, IDIOT, Legal News, Iraq War | 1 Comment »

April 12th, 2007

The Inevitable Imus Post

Don Imus is another in a long line of knot headed celebrities who’ve put their own well-paid backsides in a sling. They exercised their First Amendment rights, while completely ignoring the accompanying responsibility to refrain from saying something terminally stupid.

Critics of the I-Man - where “I” apparently stands for “Idiot” - have every right to be incensed and call for his head. What he said was rude and boorish and there is no excuse for a national radio personality not to know that, especially when he’s said similarly distasteful things before.

A Fit Punishment
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Posted in General, Current Affairs, Miscellaneous, Race | 13 Comments »

April 11th, 2007

Mea Culpa Sorta

My Monday post was about the lack of a coherent energy policy in the US. At the end of the post, I used a story about Bush almost immolating himself by plugging electrical power into a hydrogen tank on a hybrid car as a metaphor for just how poor his policy making skills are. The Detroit News story quoted the CEO of Ford Motor Company, Alan Mulally for the details.

It turns out that Mulally apparently made the whole story up and the fabrication was immediately clear in a videotape of the event released after the post. Apparently his 4-month $39.1 million salary wasn’t enough of a tall tale by itself and he needed to add “saving the leader of the free world from firey death” to his resume.

I try to provide correct information in my posts, but occasionally something like this happens. When it does, I like to correct the record and hold myself accountable. I think it’s only fair after the rants I sometimes unleash on others who don’t correct theirs.
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Posted in General, Politics, World News, Technology | 5 Comments »

April 9th, 2007

Time for an Energy Thingamajig

Over the past 30 years, administrations of both parties have squandered golden chances to forge a coherent energy policy. Though the problem had built for years, it reached a big juicy zit in 1973 when OPEC closed the taps and Americans started buying over-priced gasoline on odd or even days. As the sheiks ordered up another round of couscous, Americans got the rude awakening.

“Gee, maybe trusting the Middle Eastern despots isn’t such a good idea.”

Ya think?
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Posted in DailyFeatured | 12 Comments »

April 7th, 2007

Theocratic Street Gangs

Today’s post is in support of the Blogs Against Theocracy blogswarm. Let your voice be heard. Visit First Freedom First for more on this important topic.



One of the many reasons Europeans came to the New World was for freedom of religion. They fled a theocratic world for one that didn’t clash with their own beliefs. Facing a dangerous new world, rather than succumb to another religion, was a brave statement and their example is a cautionary tale of what can happen when religion and government merge.

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Posted in General, Politics, Current Affairs, Religion, Miscellaneous | 2 Comments »

April 7th, 2007

Tea With the Despot of Damascus

Congressional cat herder, Nancy Pelosi, visited the Middle East this week. Sporting a festive new do-rag, she visited Israel for a chit-chat with Prime Minister Ehud Olmert before going on to visit Syrian strongman, Bashir Assad.

The visit prompted calls to fire departments across the nation to peel conservatives off their ceilings. They believe La Nance has set up a shadow State Department. They see her trip as one branch of government unfairly meddling in the province of another - a little like Rummy’s intramural plan to set up a shadow intelligence shop to replace inconvenient CIA reports. They do have a point, conducting foreign policy is a Presidential prerogative and in a normal situation, freelance Condies usually cause more harm than good.

However, times ain’t normal.
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Posted in General, Politics, Current Affairs, Middle East, World News | 9 Comments »

April 4th, 2007

McCain: Cockroach-in-Chief?

To hear some tell it, the vultures are circling John McCain’s presidential bid. Crazed by the smell of blood in their beaks, they forget we’ve seen McCain flameouts before. They also forget he keeps bouncing back with the resiliency of Bill Clinton - or a cockroach.

Everyone knows about McCain’s vacation at the Hanoi Hilton - his supporters never let’s anyone forget it. In a war known more for its failures than its successes, McCain was a ray of heroic sunshine. He withstood the type of torture and abuse that Gitmo waterboarding only hints at and managed to come back in more or less one piece. But McCain’s had other disasters.

Shot Down While on the Ground
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Posted in General, Politics, Current Affairs, Campaign News, World News | No Comments »

April 3rd, 2007

Pud’s Been Whipped

I occasionally visit Pudwhipped, a blog written by a female soldier currently serving in Iraq. She’s been awfully quiet lately and in Iraq, that’s not a good thing. Her latest post explains why.

I encourage you to stop by.

Have a look.
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Posted in General, Weblogs, Miscellaneous, Military, Middle East, World News, Iraq War | 1 Comment »

April 3rd, 2007

No Hoblay Espanolish

The old saw goes, “you know a politician is lying if you see his lips moving.” There’s something else you’ll know too, “you know a ‘clarification’ is coming if you see a politician making a speech.”

Newt Richgrinch is the latest politician limping for cover with a foot full of self-inflicted buckshot. He went on Hannity and Colmes to “clarify” language he used at a weekend meeting of the National Federation of Republican Women. His speech advocated abolishing bilingual education so people wouldn’t speak, “the language of living in the ghetto”. That was an odd statement from a man whose only experience with ghettos is watching Huggy Bear on Starsky and Hutch reruns.

Strangely, Hispanic leaders were inexplicably miffed at the slight. Who knew?!
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Posted in General, Politics, Current Affairs, Campaign News, Immigration, IDIOT, Race | 6 Comments »

April 2nd, 2007

The Fat Lady Sings to Hank

Many people have remarked on the similarities between Iraq and Vietnam. They’re militarily very different, but there are strong political parallels. Both are examples of open-ended wars with no clearly defined vision of success. Through a combination of addlebrained policies and propping up corrupt and dangerous allies, both wars lost support and created suckholes nearly impossible to crawl out of. The Vietnam saga ended when the US declared peace and went home. As expected, the north overran the south in short order and the US went into a 30-year snit limiting contact with the newly unified country until recently.

Over the weekend, Henry “Peace is at Hand” Kissinger weighed in on the futility of further war in Iraq. In his view, the place has become a no win albatross around the nation’s neck. While he believes - quite correctly - there will be a mess in the power vacuum of a withdrawal, he sees the US at another peace is at hand moment. In short, we can’t go forward because the chance to do so is in the past.

Hank should know. He saw the “Yankee go home” graffiti on the walls of Vietnam. He also knows because he’s been advising the current administration to forge on into the swamp just as he did in his war. Hank’s thick, omnipresent glasses apparently don’t correct his near-sightedness, so he relies on feeling the swamp muck rise up around his neck to tell him he’s in too deep. The Bushies apparently mistook the hard lessons of Vietnam as a handbook for success rather than a warning to the wise.
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Posted in General, Politics, Current Affairs, Miscellaneous, World News, Iraq War | 3 Comments »


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