jerseymcjones's Diary
  • Full name: Jersey McJones

  • Ol' crazy, idiot Jersey McJones.

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February 15th, 2006

43 YEAR OLD MYSTERY SOLVED!

Guess who was hunting on the grassy knoll!

Posted in Quickie | 4 Comments »

January 30th, 2006

Canadian Mines/American Mines, Safety/Negligence

Canadian mine:


Most of the 72 trapped miners emerged early Monday, Esterhazy Sask.

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Posted in Politics | No Comments »

January 28th, 2006

Bush Success # -2486?

Well, real parliamentary Democracy, fair and true, has set its’ roots Palestine. No Diebolds or Texas ballots. No siree. No one can argue with that. Not the crazed Biblical Literalists who believe that a unified Israel will bring back the Jesusinator, who will crush all the infidels - including the Jews. Not the backseat drivers of conservative American Judaism, the great ambassadors of aggravation, fighting for Zionism from accross the sea. No, not even poor dumb ol’ Bush.

The Hedge has been trimmed again as Hamas, the social populist/terrorist party, won 76 of the 132 seats in the parliament, proving once again that you can’t trust exit polls, and you can’t trust predictions - they always have an angle. The Briar poured two million buckeroos in taxpayor foreign aid money to back Abbas’ moderate Fatah and to hasten the election process. Wrong horse, wrong race.

This might be a good thing, but rather than pat himself on the back for bringing true democracy to a fractured land, the Thicket blusters in the wind about foreign aid cuts. Perhaps Hamas will begin to mainstream now the way the IRA did in the end. They already represent a ubiquitous social institutional presence in the Territories. That should ease transition, as the Cabinet has now resigned, and open more possibilities for progress.
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Posted in Current Affairs | 2 Comments »

January 24th, 2006

LIBERTARIAN UTOPIA

Our day in the future world of Libertarian Utopia:

We wake up late in the morning because the power is out. We get in our car and, after seven tries and finally a jump, it starts, blowing plumes of toxic gas all over our garden. We stop at McDonalds on the way and try to drink our 190 degree coffee, which we barely get a chance to sip. We eat what we think is some kind of sausage on some kind of perhaps bread. We sit in three hours of traffic to get through the ten miles of pot-holed roads to get to work. We arrive at work late and get yelled at like a truant juvenile. We work 12 1/2 hours, with no overtime or even acknowledgement of our extra effort, performing completely non-productive service sector task management. We then drive the three hours again to get home and fix ourselves a steak, that we pray doesn’t cause us madness, and vegetables that are genetically closer in structure to us then their wild originator. We have spent the day ingesting more chemicals then Timothy Leary did in a lifetime. We worked more hours than our great grandfather, the plowman. We produced nothing of value whatsoever. We are probably divorced and have 1.5 children, who we see twice a month, who are really not sure which one is “daddy”. We watch Fox news, which is now on every channel, and believe it is “fair and balanced” (can I say that?) and come away with opinions so ill informed that we may as well have developed them while tripping on acid and staring at a wall. We are very angry about gay people, fifteen year old girls who get abortions, black people, people who don’t speak enough English, “hateful” liberals (now there’s an oxymoron!), women with opinions, and anything that might make our lives better. And we are convinced there is too much regulation and litigation in the world and we have to put a stop to it.

JMJ

Posted in Quickie | 12 Comments »

January 24th, 2006

CANADA MOVES TO THE RIGHT, ELECTORATE FEELS GOV’T NOT STUPID ENOUGH

Liberal Paul Martin is out andConservative Stephen Harper is in. Though the Conservatives haven’t enough seats to avoid the need for coalition, they will find likemindedness on many issues with the new Parliamentory makeup:

(Seats/%)
CON 124 36.25%
LIB 103 30.22%
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Posted in Politics | 2 Comments »

January 23rd, 2006

14 Miners and Deregulation

No, it’s not the name of a folk song, but it ought to be. Maybe it will be someday. It’s sad, it’s true, and it’s starting to be talked about now.

Coal Miners are suing the state of Alabama to live up to it’s regulatory responsibility - its’ responsibilty to the lives and safety of it citizens - after recent mining accidents in Pennsylvania and West Virginia, and in Alabama itself earlier. Mines from Utah to Pennsylvania have been slapped with violations by the tens and hundreds, and receiving fines totally no more than 300K for any mining company, and usually much less - coal dust and other combustibles’ levels among the violations. Fires have been a problem in these mines for the past 5 years. Deaths are mounting. Congress and state governments are bringing hearings. But there should be no doubt why these “accidents” are occurring.

When Bush et al came along in 2001, among the first things they had to do was to repay their interests for the gift of their power. Among the most zealous of these interests, mining, and specifically coal mining, expected and received irresponsibly generous reprieves from regluatory oversight in way not seen in generations. Allowing rises in acceptable Coal Dust levels was among the regulatory “reforms” with which Bush repaid his bribers in Mining. And it’s more “reform” (in Republicanese, “reform” means Destroy) every year. Bush staffed OSHA and theMSHA with political cronies and corporate mining insiders, just as he has appointed industry insiders to monitor all of our regulated sectors. The conflict of interest is lost on the typical Republican voter, more in tune with in God, gays, and guns than complex regulatory systems.
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Posted in General, DailyFeatured | 33 Comments »

January 23rd, 2006

Libertarianism, Conservatism and Religion… and The Three Stooges

Libertarianism, conservatism and religion, or libconreg,* are three hallmark pillars of American society. They also happen to be among the shakiest pillars. There are other pillars; small “r” republicanism, entertainment, progress. These we export to the clamouring demand of a world that’s damned glad for having us. But America has developed a brand of libconreg uniquely for and unto itself. The world doesn’t exactly clamour for a share of that. That’s why rock ‘n roll is almost universally loved while no one threw flowers as U.S. soldiers marched into Baghdad.

Libertarians are people who want to be as free to do as they please without the hinderance of others. They are convinced of their ability to do anything right and of their right to do anything. Where libertarians run into trouble is when what they do affects someone else. Given this conundrum, libertarians will usually deny they’ve done anything.**
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Posted in DailyFeatured | 4 Comments »

January 18th, 2006

American Terrorism back in the Spotlight

“OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — Michael Fortier, the prosecution’s star witness in the Oklahoma City bombing trials, will be freed this week after serving less than 11 years of a 12-year sentence.”

Fortier and his wife were undoubtedly conspirators in the bombing. She was let off with nothing and Michael served only 11 years, in exchange for their testimony. No Guantanamo for these people. I wonder why…


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Posted in Current Affairs | 3 Comments »

January 16th, 2006

Martin Luther King Jr. - Some Changes in the Dream

When we look back at Martin Luther King Jr., we tend to view through a nostaglic eye. We say, “Wow, things were sure bad back then, ” and, “Gee, we sure have made progress since those bad ol’ days!” No one would argue that life for people of color is worse in all ways today than it was those years ago. But really, when you think about it, it wasn’t all that long ago and not everything is better, and yes, some things are worse. There are millions and millions of people amongst us today who are old enough to remember all too well what it was about back then. They understand the justice can be a matter degrees to some people. As long as that’s the case, the struggle continues.

Let’s take a look at some of the things that haven’t gone so well, so that we know where to go from here…


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Posted in Current Affairs | 5 Comments »

January 9th, 2006

The Monster Lives!

Ya’ just can’t kill this guy!

First, he gets busted for a litany of lies. Nothing.
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Posted in Television | 6 Comments »

January 9th, 2006

Amor for Armor…

The Pentagon has recently discovered that most of the torso wounds suffered by our kids in Iraq were preventable! Sur-prise, sur-prise! All that technology - from Smart Bombs to Satellites - and it just occured to the Pentagon that armor prevents injury. Amazing.

Meanwhile, soldiers can’t even get the Pentagon to pay for the armor that the troops have purchased themselves. I guess some people don’t like getting torso wounds… must be Anti-Americans!

Personally, here’s what I would wear:
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Posted in Military | 14 Comments »

January 4th, 2006

OUTSOURCE EMPLOYERS!!!

Well, it’s the start of another New Year, with all the promise and worry that ever goes along with that.  So, it should be of no surprise that the ever-lucky, ol’ Jersey McJones tore the living hell out of his "lower abdomen" over the holidays. I may well need more surgery (this would make it six for this little problem) sometime in the near future, unless I manage to heal up - which I might.  I have a plastic screen holding it all together now, but this tear seems to have circumvented it.  It’s not that I physically over-do it much anymore, but my body is settling and the problem has been with me since birth.

I asked one of my surgeons, once, "Why does this keep happening to me?"

"Evolution," he said, without so much as blink.  "The human animal’s physical development still hasn’t fully caught up with walking upright.  The muscle walls in the groin take a lot of pressure from the abdomen and so occasionally break."  We call this an inguinal hernia.  He even drew me a diagram.

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Posted in Current Affairs | 6 Comments »

January 3rd, 2006

LYNN SWANN IS RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR!

And sur-prise, sur-prise, he’s a conservative!

Is

Funny how athletes are most always Conservative…

I guess all that hard work makes them blind to their luck in life.

I guess anyone can be a pro-football star!

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Last word he’s down only 13 points…; God help us all.
.

Posted in Quickie | 21 Comments »

December 31st, 2005

2005 End of the Year News Quiz

There’s nothing like wrapping up a year with a news quiz! (Did I just say that?)

1) On March 31, Terry Schiavo died after her feeding tubes were removed, ending her 15 year vegetative state. The story caused a major news sensation around the country as politicians and advocacy groups rallied around their positions from Right-to-Life to Right-to-Die. Though some were convinced that Terry could recover, the autopsy showed she would never. Why is Bill Frist such an asshole?

2) On October 15, the Iraqi people went to the polls to vote for the ratification of a new constitution. The constitution was neither to everyone’s total satisfaction nor consternation, though it did manage to pass. How long will it be for Ahmad Chalabi to embezzle billions from their national coffers?

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Posted in Current Affairs | 4 Comments »

December 29th, 2005

William Kristol is a Skinny, Little Idiot.

I’ve made the mistake of reading conservative columns before, but the William Kristol piece I read from the January 2 Weekly Standard takes the cake – and lets you eat it. It seems Mr. Kristol is concerning himself with a paranoia he detects in the line of critical questioning from his fellow Americans regarding the recent NSA/FISA-bypassing "snooping" controversy. So what is it, Mr. Kristol? Trust the government or distrust the government? And which government do we trust? And which branch? I assume you have a conservative-approved list.

He leads his piece-of-work off with this: "No reasonable American, no decent human being, wants to send up a white flag in the war on terror." In the world of baiting-and-switching that is the totality of right wing rhetoric, this bait is a ton of chum in shark infested waters. Any number of issues may be framed this way by anyone who feels the urge to do so ("No reasonable American, no decent human being, wants to send up a white flag in the war on child abuse." or, "No reasonable American, no decent human being, wants to send up a white flag in the war on cannibalism"). Bill O’Reilly patented this baiting method some years ago and graciously shares it with Right-Wing pundits and pols.

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Posted in Politics | 2 Comments »

December 15th, 2005

Global Warming, Intelligent Design, and 55 Million Morons

Irony of ironies of ironies. As the poles melt, thanks to the trillions of little man-made fuel fires burning all over the world (particularly in America) all the time, the oil industry is rushing in to get at the reserves under where the ice used to be. Meanwhile, in Alaska, the permafrost has been melting for years , ruining roads and other infrastructure and this potentially could impact any realistic exploration up there. Irony of ironies again, as congress finally okayed drilling in ANWR, there’s a good chance it won’t even be feasible.

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Posted in Quickie | 16 Comments »

December 8th, 2005

PUTTING THE “JESUS CHRIST!” BACK IN CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

From Jersey McJones

That’s right! I said it! Merry CHRISTMAS! Not “Happy Holidays,” not “Seasons Greetings,” no, it’s MERRY FRIGGIN’ CHRISTMAS, BABY!!!

I know many who say that us godless, commie, politically-correct, hyphenating liberals are waging a war on “Christ-in-Christmas,” but for all you poor little Christian victims of liberal oppression, for whom all your tax-exempt churches and your vast private properties are just not spacious enough for all your countless mangers, you proselytizers of primitive priory profundity, this one’s for you:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

For all you wealthy-born, war-profiteering, tax-cheating, class-warring, crooked/corporate politician-loving, Hummer-Driving, prepaid Yale-Mastering, unearned investment-leeching, natural resources-stealing, Mega-Church parishioners who have as much chance of entering Heaven as a camel through the eye of a needle:

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Posted in Current Affairs | 19 Comments »


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