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Sarah Palin: “I Don’t Hire No Steenking Negros!”

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

Aw come on, nobody’s perfect. So she’s a racist. But she is NOT a witch. And that’s certifiable. The Bishop has given his official verdict on the Governor’s Mansion: This house is clean. The racism story comes from Gwen Alexander, president of the African-American Historical Society of Alaska. Last April fourteen ...

Hand Over That $700 Billion Right NOW and Nobody Gets Hurt

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

Hurry up! Pass this bill Right NOW. We don’t have time for amendments or debate or procedures or any of that drivel. This is an Emergency! The entire economy could collapse any minute, and you're just sitting there dithering?!?!?!?! Does this manufactured hysteria have a familiar ring to it? Think back ...

The First Word in “Border Patrol” is — “BORDER”

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

I live near the Canadian border. In fact I can see Vancouver Island (British Columbia) from my house. According to some people, that makes me a foreign policy expert. But I digress… The Border Patrol has a strong presence here, since we’re at an international border. That’s fine. But lately the ...

John McCain: R.I.P.

Friday, September 19th, 2008

John McCain’s death was already tragic. But now, to make the pain and suffering even more unbearable: some sick twisted leftwing demon — a Body Snatcher — has hijacked John McCain’s corpse. And this — this Thing! — is STILL running for president! It’s trying to use the body of The ...

One Possible Solution to Sleazy Political Ads

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

A letter to the editor of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer had a solution to all of these sleazy political ads during the presidential campaign. Basically — nothing. No regulations or restrictions. BUT: During the presidential debates, all of these commercials and hit pieces would be aired, right there in front of the ...

Don’t Forget September 28th — Spanish Inquisition Day

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

On Sunday, September 28th, the Spanish Inquisition will be making their biggest power play ever. Oh, that’s right, they’ve changed their name. Now they're calling themselves the Alliance Defense Fund. The Spanish, uh, Salem Witch, er Alliance Defense Fund wants Christianity and government to be completely intertwined; joined at the hip. ...

Sarah Palin (Continued)

Sunday, September 14th, 2008

Yes it’s getting redundant. Everything that’s in this post, you’ve already seen in thousands of blogs. And now the mainstream media is even getting in on the act. Did they get a sudden sense of integrity, or are they tired of getting scooped on the Internet? In any case these stories ...

Sarah Palin: Not Ready For Prime Time

Friday, September 12th, 2008

OOPS! What happened to my teleprompter? And all my scripts and slogans? And why didn’t that fuckin’ senile McCain tell me about the Bush Doctrine? Like, you know, what the hell it is! Hellooo??? I looked like a deer caught in the headlights when Charlie Gibson asked me if I ...

Songbird McCain Gets a “D” from Veterans

Wednesday, September 10th, 2008

Yes, everybody knows that John McCain was a …drumroll… PRISONER OF WAR And because of that, nobody is allowed to criticize him for ANY reason. Unfortunately, the current political M.O. (invented but not trademarked by Karl Rove) is to attack a political opponent’s strongest point; not his weaknesses. That’s how John Kerry got transformed in ...

What’s The Difference Between a VA Hospital and a Middle School?

Saturday, September 6th, 2008

Seriously, this isn't a riddle. John McCain wants to know. During McCain’s speech last Thursday, part of the backdrop was a giant image of Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, CA. WTF??? This nationwide TV image came as a shock to the school’s staff. Principal Donna Tobin said: “Permission to use ...

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