Of course, the media circus will have a field day trying to ferret out the real reason Sarah no longer has a taste for public service. Do we really care?

She’s finished. At one time I thought Ms. Palin might try but not win any higher office, but that she may have a future on television. Not any more. She’s going to be a stain on the GOP and America from this point forward. Like the Grinch, most won’t want to touch her with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

There are two larger questions here: A) what went wrong with the Republican Party that their national leaders are imploding , and B) what WAS McCain thinking when he tried to elevate this woman to the Veep position?

Blog on friends. Blog on all

P.S. Happy Independence Day.

Sarah Palin, why do you hate America?

You’ve always been so pro-gun, anti-abortion, and drill-baby-drill supporting – you know, the traditional American values. How could you now – on the eve of this nation’s most sacred holiday – desecrate Old Glory by posing with it heaped unceremoniously on a bar stool?

Displaying your gorgeous diamond and ruby encrusted flag pins – from the QVC/Madeleine Albright collection for $15.95 per pound – has always been your patriotic hallmark, the front line of your fierce defense of the “Real America”.

I remember when you criticized that socialist pretender to the Presidency, Barak Hussein Obama, for not wearing his pin. You didn’t wince from controversy. When rabid left-wing lunatics pointed out that the world’s greatest leader, our dear President Mr. George W. Bush, sometimes went without his flag pin you laughed in their faces and reminded them you were a maverick.

How right you were.

SarahkiniYou knew that if Obama became President he’d outlaw flags and have them brought to huge “inflammation” centers to be burned using recycled Fryolator grease from McDonalds.

I was a little upset when you literally wrapped yourself in our flag, but when I thought moe about it, I decided it was OK. After all, what would stylish mavericks wear if not our glorious, Godly, and triumphant banner?

But a bar stool Sarah? That’s the single most dangerous piece of furniture in a good tea-totalling, Christian home.

WWJD?

I hope this desecration of our flag was completely the fault of Runners’ World magazine and their liberal mainstream media PhotoShopery. I still have faith in your maverickosity. Sarah, please do the right thing and display our flag correctly.

If not, I might need to tell Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck about you.

Crossposted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Another governor caught with his hypocritical donger outside his pants? That’s not news. Now a donger with freakishly bad plastic surgery, a drug habit, and test tube babies dangling out of windows? That’s news baby! The kind that would’ve allowed Mark Sanford to sneak in under the news radar if only he’d returned a day late.

Unfortunately, he had the bad luck of returning from Tangoland straight into the arms of reporters pestering him with questions about where the hell he’d gone walkabout for the past week. True to form, Sanford’s initial story – as crazy and entertainingly refreshing as it might’ve been – was only the first act in a protracted drip drop of misinformation and criticism.

First, many politicians and assorted guardians of the public morals took time out from schtupping their maids to condemn the poor love-struck bastard as a hypocrite who must resign to save the Republic.

He refused, and rightfully so.

Sanford and the PigsHe needn’t explain his behavior to the likes of Larry Craig nor David Vitter nor, omigod, Lindsey Graham. It’s a personal matter between him and a wife who’d already kicked his lying ass to the curb. If a person wants to conduct a pouting bi-hemispherical schoolboy love affair, who are we to condemn him?

But shortly after his rambling and impassioned mea culpa the usual messy baggage started to ooze out of his cover story.

It seems the affair wasn’t just that one time. And, maybe he had (or hadn’t) billed the state for his travel. Ducking his security force was a no-brainer as was his “liberation” of a state vehicle to get to the Atlanta airport. And perhaps that whole leaving the state without telling the Lt. Governor thing was, ahem, bad form.

He’s steadily resisted resignation, which is a sure bet to give the story Betty Grable legs. In the latest twist, armchair psychiatrists are Bill Fristing diagnoses of his mental health. A possible hormonal imbalance. Maybe obsessive compulsive disorder. Hell, the guy might even be a full-scale manic depressive, schizophrenic sociopath with anorexic tendencies!

Or maybe just as stupid as your average tree stump.

Mark as much as I hate to say this, being a hypocrite and having your onto the Governor’s Mansion lawn is the least of your worries. Now that people are actually paying attention, you’ll inevitably find yourself on the wrong side of an investigation that will provide a reason to rightly or wrongly oust you.

But there are real reasons to step aside. You showed incredibly bad judgment by leaving the USS South Carolina without a rudder and your world famous tete-a-tete is distracting your state in a time of trouble. Give the citizens a break, Lindsey Graham already serves them poorly enough without you adding palmetto wood to the fire.

In my mind, the affair actually made you – a man renowned for his standoffishness – more human. You were like a boy in love with your syrupy poetry and sexy hijinks.

But you did some insanely stupid things. And for those things – the things that actually affect the public – you’ve got to go. Besides, sitting in a love nest with your new lady friend has got to be miles better than arguing about tobacco tax policy with a legislator that still flies a confederate flag on his lawn.

Go on. Step aside and get on with your life. Let your wife and kids get on with thiers. Leave all the caterwauling behind.

But remember, you’ll always have Buenos Aries.

Cross Posted At The Omnipiotent Poobah Speaks!

As you probably know, the “Tea” in Tea Party stands for Taxed Enough Already. If you’re sick and tired of Big Government and Class Warfare, you WILL get out there on July Fourth and do some teabagging.

Government bureaucrats standing between you and your doctor, successful Americans paying higher taxes than the riffraff — Enough!

These tax-and-spend Democrats are ruining this great nation. If you’re longing for the huge budget surpluses we had during George W. Bush’s presidency, let everybody know. Ask yourself: what have you done for Big Business lately?

Find a tea party near you.

Suddenly we are supposed to believe that they are the experts at job creation and energy policy?

I think it’s time to change their emblem from an elephant to Chicken Little.

The Looney AwardsSome would say awarding a Looney Award to Michele Bachmann is like kicking a quadriplegic whilst they’re down. I suppose there’s some truth to that, but she always makes it so damned easy.

Bachmann, once best known as a George W. Bush extreme groupie, regularly puts her foot firmly in mouth. Apparently, the Minnesota Moron has withstood one too many harsh winters and suffers from an advanced case of fear frostbite.

In April, Bachmann feared Obama-created re-education camps for the politically incorrect, saying, “I believe that there is a very strong chance that we will see that young people will be put into mandatory service. And the real concerns [sic] is that there are provisions for what I would call re-education camps for young people, where young people have to go and get trained in a philosophy that the government puts forward and then they have to go to work in some of these politically correct forums.”

Given her savvy about politically incorrect statements she may be the first to go should it come to that. “You be da bitch Michele.”

This time around she thinks completing the census will reserve her an all expenses paid trip to a 1940’s era Japanese style internment camp. She plans to release nothing more than her address for this census and bravely risk a $5000, $100, or fill in the blank fine for her conservative courage. A fine that has never been levied as far as anyone can tell.

BatshitcrazyThis tragedy will befall the country because housing advocacy group ACORN will handle some of the data collection. Michele has an inordinate fear of ACORN, believing them responsible for losing the election for Norm Coleman and various other atrocities too numerous to mention.

In fairness, ACORN was investigated for voter registration fraud at the behest of Republicans, but only a single person was found guilty – not unlike the conviction of a GOP-lead business owner for similar misconduct. In fact, the state of Missouri had to pay ACORN for a failed suit against them.

Bachmann further embarrassed herself by claiming the Census Bureau will not count illegal aliens. Being somewhat of a stranger to facts, Bachmann might be forgiven for not knowing that right-wing news service CNS News quoted the acting director of the census as saying, “Our job is to count everyone that resides in the US – count them once. So, certainly that’s our goal to count every individual, every resident whether they’re documented, undocumented, whether they are citizens or non-citizens.

Ms. Bachmann, keep up the good work. With friends like you, the Republicans don’t need any enemies.

But what happened to Roberts, Alito, Scalia? They’ve turned into a bunch of pussy RINOs. They’re a DISGRACE to the Republican Party! Some filthy teenage drug addict has the “right” not to be strip-searched???

PSSSST — Clarence, didja get a good view? [wink]

In 2003, a 13-year-old girl was accused by her school of having possession of — brace yourself now — prescription-strength Ibuprofen. [gasp]

Vice Principal Kerry Wilson brought the girl into his office to search her backpack. No Ibuprofen was found. She was sent to a nurse’s office and ordered by the nurse and an administrative assistant to take off her shirt and pants. Then they told her to move her bra to the side and to stretch her underwear waistband, so they could get a gooooood look. Damn it, where’s she hiding those drugs?!?!?!?!?

Liberals and Pagans are all whining about this strip-search being “unconstitutional.” Fortunately, Clarence Thomas was having none of that. Our Last Bastion of Decency said:

“It was eminently reasonable to conclude the backpack was empty because Redding was secreting the pills in a place she thought no one would look. Redding would not have been the first person to conceal pills in her undergarments. Nor will she be the last after today’s decision, which announces the safest place to secrete contraband in school.”

Now, without trying to alarm anybody needlessly — those Ibuprofen tablets are still at large. And let me close with this sobering statistic: 98% of all OxyContin addicts started off on Ibuprofen.

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford admits he used taxpayer money to see his mistress in Argentina and plans to repay the cash.

Why any one has any faith in the GOP leadership at this point in the game is beyond me.

Sample 1 –

On behalf of the people of Illinois and New York, I’d like to thank South Carolina for giving us Mark (“I’ve been unfaithful to my wife”) Sanford. Finally, a governor who’s weirder than Rod Blagojevich and less responsible than Eliot Spitzer.

Sample 2 -

The news that Senator John Ensign had had an affair with a former aide who was married to another former aide was fading. Polls showed some voter impatience with President Obama’s policies, if not with the president himself. And the Politico, the insidery Web site that is widely read in the capital’s political precincts, even featured an article exploring the possibility of a Republican Party comeback.

Then Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina, a fiscal conservative seen by many Republicans as an attractive standard-bearer for the next presidential campaign, went missing. Worse, he returned.

Sample 3 –

But his confession and apology, in a rambling, nationally televised news conference, left other mysteries unsolved, like whether he had lied to his staff members as late as Monday about his whereabouts, whether the affair had definitively ended, whether he would resign from the governorship and whether he would even have acknowledged the affair had he not been met at the airport in Atlanta by a reporter upon his return.

Sample 4 –

Three and finally, while all the things above are all too true — at the same time we are in a hopelessly — or as you put it impossible — or how about combine and simply say hopelessly impossible situation of love. How in the world this lightening strike snuck up on us I am still not quite sure. As I have said to you before I certainly had a special feeling about you from the first time we met, but these feelings were contained and I genuinely enjoyed our special friendship and the comparing of all too many personal notes (and yes this is true even if you did occasionally tantalize me with sexual details over the years!) — but it was all safe. Where we are is not. I have thought about it and in some ways feel I let you down in letting these complications come into a friendship that I hope will last till death. In all my life I have lived by a code of honor and at a variety of levels know I have crossed lines I would have never imagined.

Well, if that just doesn’t sum it up, I don’t know what does. Even so, I’m still wondering where’s the moral outrage from those self-proclaimed “protectors” of “traditional” marriage? Where’s the multimillion dollar machine that works for legislation that prevents republicans who cheat on their wives from ever getting married again? Doesn’t Sanford’s transgressions warrant some kind of litigious response? Really, Proposition H8 supporters aught be up in arms over Sanford’s shenanigans.

Ah, but what can you expect from the party that brought you the following equations:

President gets a BJ in the oval office = Impeachment
Shoot friend in face = still love the Veep
Invade Iraq because of WMD = No WMD, but, shoot, we are spreading freedom
It’s not okay to blow yourself up in the name of a cause = It’s okay to waterboard your enemies

They now bring you the following –
It’s okay for to cheat on your wife = But I still vow to protect “traditional” marriage